Spinning Yellow

I Am Still Running

In case you were wondering, since I haven't posted about it in awhile, I have not given up!  Except for the week off due to the Bermuda trip, I have been running according to the Beginner Runner's Plan.  At 10 weeks in, I am up to 4 iterations of 8 minutes of running and 1 minute of walking.  My cool Nike iPod told me that I did 4 miles today and that I have completed a total of over 100 miles cumulative so far.  I even did a faster than 10 minute mile today (that includes the walking portion).

I know I am stronger.  In the last 10 weeks I've gone from not running at all to running 4 miles.  That's 32 minutes of running!  I can tell that my muscles are more defined and that I've probably lost a few pounds.  I like that the aerobic portion of my workout videos is much easier.  I used to dread the jumping and stepping, but now consider it a piece of cake.

It is less than two weeks until the big 5K race, on my 39th birthday.  I think I will be ready.  I am nervous about running in a race.  I don't like participating in athletic competition, especially with an audience.  I have never done anything like a race.  What if I am the very last person?  Or I look stupid?  What if I am a big dork and cry at the end, like it's a marathon or something, instead of a rinky-dink 5K?  What if my outfit looks too new, like it's the first day of school?  What if I trip?

I'm sure I'll see some people I know there that are seasoned racers.  I will feel stupid saying, "Yeah, I know. I'm not a runner, but I did this class..."  And they'll say something completely annoying and condescending like, "Well, good for you.  I'm sure you'll love running when you get the hang of it.  Gotta go, I need to warm up because I'm trying to break my PR this time.  Oh, I'm sorry, that means Personal Record in runner lingo."

I am trying not to think about those things and instead concentrate on what I have learned and accomplished so far.  There is much to say!   I'll start with the big stuff and then talk about the little things.

Running is a great metaphor for life.  To get out there and do it.  To persevere, reach a goal, move your body.  Two of my favorite lessons are opposing ideas.  First is that even when you feel bad, or hurt, sometimes you just have to keep going, press on through it.  Many times while running something has hurt like my ankles, shins or calves.  But as I continue on my run, the pain subsides.  This is not an idea I have really been familiar with in the past.  I am typically the person who says, um pain, OK, I'm done.  So it has been eye opening to realize that you can work through the agony and instead of it getting worse, it might actually go away.  The rush of knowing you can overcome is very inspiring.

The other idea is that when you really hurt or have overdone it, you need to take a break.  Before we left for Bermuda, I had been doing all the required runs and also continuing my strength workouts.  A few times I had even done two workouts in one day, trying to make up for a lost day due to bad weather or some other conflict.  I thought I could handle this and that the pain I experienced was probably normal.  I would hobble around thinking I was just a wimp.  But when I took the week off and really rested, I was able to resume running without any problems and little pain.  It turns out that what I really needed was to take it easy and let my body fully recover.  I have felt stronger and more comfortable ever since (and you know it wasn't because the trip itself was rejuvenating!).

A few other things I've discovered:

Because I am always aware of the little eyes who are watching my every move, I am proud of the example I am setting for the kids.  While it is nothing like an Ironman race, it is a big thing for me.  They see me sticking with it and following though.  I know that matters.

Now I know why people run in the street.  It isn't because they are idiots trying to get run over by cars, but because the asphalt road is more forgiving on the joints than the concrete sidewalk.  It really does make a difference.

I am so in love with my Nike iPod!  Talk about motivating, after every run I get to hook the thing up and see exactly what I did.  Not only that, but it keeps track of every run I've done.  The cool funky techno music helps me run faster and keep a clear head.  I am now used to the different beats and try to run faster when the pace picks up.  I thought I would listen to podcasts, but I like the freeing, non-thinking aspect of this music.  At least for now.  And, if I run a little farther or faster, famous people congratulate me.  "This is Lance Armstrong.  Congratulations, you just completed your longest run yet!"  Gee, thanks Lance, I didn't know you would notice.  This may the best Christmas present Matt ever bought me, thank you honey!

I like to run in the morning.  This is not surprising because I am a morning person.  But I've also noticed that when I have all day to stretch and remain moving, I don't get as cramped up.  I've also started stretching a little before I start running.  This has helped tremendously  with my calves which tend to tighten up as I run.  Plus, I am just more tired at the end of the day.

I need to eat a little before I run unless I am going first thing in the morning, then I only need my first cup of coffee.   This is another reason why running early helps.  The class is at 6:30 in the evening, too early to have dinner with the family before and too late to go without something.  I finally realized I needed a small snack before I left for the class so I wouldn't feel lightheaded.

It is great that the weather is so nice now.  When I would go out when it was cold I'd never dress right.  I was surprised at how hot I got.  Matt would just shake his head at me as I bundled up with layers.  Inevitably I'd be burning up well before I got home.

I am beginning to buy into the "Do it for yourself" idea that woman get told repeatedly.  Before this class I thought, um, what I want to do for myself is read a book or blog (perhaps get a massage), not go running.  What are they talking about?  Even though I don't think running (or blogging for that matter) have made me better tempered, I do now see what they mean.  I feel better about myself that I am achieving a goal and getting healthier.  Especially when it means I get to ditch Matt with the screaming sick 3 year old and her crabby, disrespectful brother.

My single biggest fear about running was that I would get winded and feel sick to my stomach.  I have a throw up phobia and can count on one hand the number of times I have thrown up including when I was a child, drunk or pregnant.  The good news is that I have never felt out of breath or sick during this training class.  Not once.  That's what has really converted me.

That and the sense of pride that I am one of them.  Not the walker that gets dusted, but an actual runner who can't stop to chat.  Someone who is getting stronger and faster, clocking more miles, trading stories and ideas for running routes.  Dare I say that I really am one of them?

The woman who runs the class sends out training tips and information via e-mail.  She always ends her messages with the positive, upbeat phrase:

Run On!

And I will.

One Foot in Front of the Other

The running continues.  I started three weeks ago.  Tomorrow will be my fourth class.  Here is what we have done so far:

Week 1 - Intervals of 1 minute running followed by 4 minutes walking.
Week 2 - Intervals of 2 minutes running followed by 4 minutes walking.
Week 3 - Intervals of 2 minutes running followed by 3 minutes walking.

Each week we do the new series in class and then are supposed to run 2 more times during the week.  We do a 5 minute warm up and cool down of light walking each time and usually do around 6 repetitions of the run/walk cycle.

So now that you know what is supposed to be happening, I'll tell you how it is really going.  In a word:  Great.  Not exactly smoothly, but really good none the less.  When I left for my first class, Scott asked me, "Why do you need to go to a running class?  I don't get it, you already know how to run, Mommy."  Hmm.  "Yes, that's true, but everyone needs a little help sometimes and I've never "gone for a run" like Daddy does.  I can't run a mile without gasping for air and doubling over like I am going to throw up." 

After the first class, I only ran once that week because I didn't get new shoes in time.  The past two weeks I have dutifully completed my two additional walk/runs, even though the weather has been really cold here.  On my way out one time, Matt said, "Just remember, one foot in front of the other."  Thanks smart ass, I thought. 

As I have been doing these practice runs I have decided that running is really hard work.  Not difficult to figure out.  Like Scott said, I do know how to run.  But it takes a LOT of effort.  Each time I would see that my walking break was over and I had to start running, I would think that it simply hurt.  I was acutely aware of the pain in my joints and the pounding of my feet against the pavement.  Running is physically demanding, no doubt about it.  Even Lance Armstrong said so.

I even had the urge to glare at Matt like I did during labor thinking - can't you suffer instead of me?  You are better at physical pain, besides you got me into this, you should hurt too.  Come to think of it, the cycle of run/walk at timed intervals, reminds me of labor.  Knowing that the pain is going to come and that you have only a short reprieve before it starts up again.  Of course, this you can stop if you want to.  It is a self-induced situation.

After a few runs I realized that as I went along, around the third or fourth interval, it got easier.  I wanted to keep going instead of stopping because the inertia was with me.  I remembered Matt's advice that I had initially thought was so lame; one foot in front of the other.  I tried to think only about the activity at hand.  Left foot, right foot, left, right.  Breath two in, two out.  I tried to look forward and keep my hands from clenching.  To stay upright and make sure my arms were parallel to my body. 

And it worked.  The time went by faster.  I felt aerodynamic.  My body was working as it was intended to.  Being efficient and strong and fast.  And I have to say that it really did feel pretty good.  I was reminded of the term flow.  To be so in the moment that you lose sight of your thoughts.  A brief suspension in time when all seems right.

A few hours after one of my half hour run/walks, Matt went out for his run.  He came back an hour and a half later.  Really starting to understand the magnitude of his effort I asked, "Did you really run the whole time?  No walking or breaks?"
He looked at me kind of funny, "Yes, I did 12 miles today."

So, I still have a long way to go.  And I am pretty sure that I will never consider myself an athlete.  But I am feeling more confident that I will be able to call myself a runner one day soon.

It's a Runner's World

For a long time I secretly read my husband's Runner's World magazine.  I knew I was not worthy as I am not a runner.  But I really like this magazine.  It is funny and informative and often very inspirational.  And I guess I have to admit that I really wished I was part of the club.  I've always felt that people who run really know how to live, that they are experiencing life to its fullest.  Like those old ladies who take a swim in the lake every morning.  They seem like they know the secret of life.

One day I broke my silence when I mentioned that I liked an article Kristin Armstrong wrote.  My husband kidded that I wasn't allowed to read his magazine.  I'm sure this was well before he completed the Ironman race.  As someone who has always been a runner, he doesn't really understand why I am not.

And then I realized that I don't really know why I'm not a runner either.  Is it that I am afraid I can't do it?  Or is it my aversion to athletic competition?  I have terrible, humiliating memories from school when I could barely run the mile.  I've never been fat.  I've always been able to stay in relatively good shape by walking and doing my workout videos.  And maybe just from decent genes. 

But it turns out that as I am approaching 40 years old, those things are not enough.  I should be able to run a 5K and not feel like I am going to get sick.  I want to have a healthy heart, not just look OK in a swim suit.  And, truth be told, I want to do these things that I've always said I couldn't.  Because life is what you decide it is going to be.  I don't have to be the nonathletic girl of my youth.  I can be whatever I want!  Isn't this what we are always telling our kids - that they can be anything they want to be?  Shouldn't we be the good example?

Hence the Learn to Run class that I started last week.  I have reservations about this.  It is a little too much of me being in Matt's world.  I think it is perfectly acceptable (and maybe wise) to keep separate hobbies in marriage.  During my twenties I made the mistake more than once of attempting to do some new sport so that I could keep up with a boyfriend.  Those that know me may remember when I made a total ass out of myself at the Stan Smith tennis academy in Hilton Head by showing up the first day with my ten year old racket and no tennis experience.  (Show me your serve.  What serve?)  Or when I spent a fortune on a cool mountain bike and then could barely walk after I rode 30 miles the first day from DC to Mt. Vernon and back.

But I went through with the running class.  I mean how bad could it be, really?  The first day was fine.  It was crowded.  When I arrived there were people still signing up.  After I quickly looked around to see if I knew anyone, I sat down with some ladies that looked like they could be around my age and ability.  Turns out that a lot of the people came in groups.  I am pretty good at making friends and joining in so I didn't mind the small talk introductions.  We set out for our run which consisted of a 5 minute walking warm-up, then 1 minute of running, followed by 4 minutes of walking, then repeating the run and walking several times.  It was hard not to feel like you were in gym class when the instructor blew the whistle.  After a few repetitions I ended up in the middle of the pack with two other woman.  I was happy not to be the slowest!  When we came to the end (2 miles, maybe more?) the one woman said, "That's it?  That was tolerable."  I agreed completely. 

The next day I was surprised that my feet, butt and shins hurt.  I've been told that this is normal.  I did get a new pair of shoes today so that I will be ready for class.  And here's the proof that it all makes sense:  My husband got his copy of Runner's World yesterday and tossed it to me.  "Here's your magazine," he said.  I took a look at it and flipped to the article about 101 kicks in the butt to get you motivated.  Guess what number 1 is? 

Start a blog.

Running to the ER

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in PA.  The weather was so warm that we spent the whole day outside, playing on the driveway and in the backyard.  My husband stayed home to get some things done around the house and to fit in an afternoon bike ride.  My mother came over to give the kids Easter baskets before she leaves on a 2 week trip.

I was excited and nervous to start a running class.  I've NEVER been a runner.  I'm not even athletic.  But in the spirit of trying new things and shedding my old way of looking at myself, I signed up for the 12 week "Learn to Run" program offered by a local running gear store.  My husband is quite the athlete and has been trying to get me to do this ever since I met him.  I've always liked to walk and actually can walk at a pretty fast clip, but running makes me feel like I'm going to die, or at least throw up. 
At about 5 pm, when we were starting to get dinner together, all the kids came into the backyard.  My neighbor and I had our backs to the swing set when Jane fell.  Nobody saw what happened.  We heard her cry and you know how a mom just KNOWS when it isn't OK, well the fear shot through me.  I swooped her up and took her inside and tried to assess the situation.

No blood.  No visible limbs unattached.  No big bump or bruise.  Where did you get hurt, sweetie?  On the swing set!  No, I mean, where on your body?  On my head!  And my arm!  And my leg!  Then she just whimpered and shuffled around.  I could tell her one arm seemed limp.  So we sat together and she calmed down some.  We snuggled with her lambs and watched TV while I tried to figure out what was wrong.  I learned during my years at the day care that you should just move the kid's arms around and press on them to see if they wince or cry.  Asking them straight out what hurts can be futile as in - does it hurt here (pointing to an arm)?  Yes.  And here (pointing to head)?  Yes.  Here too (pointing at the lamb)?  Yes.

But here's the thing:  I had the running class to go to.  So I started to get ready and my husband made dinner.  Jane cried as I was leaving.  It occurred to me that if I was doing ANYTHING else, like going to book group or card club, or even if I was obligated to go to a meeting, my husband would tell me there is no way I could leave with her so upset and clearly injured.  But not a word from him, because it was RUNNING class and he completely supports this endeavor, probably more than any other I've done in our time together.

So I went (more on the class later) and then I left as fast as I could and rushed home.  Jane was waiting for me in her PJ's.  She told me her arm was all better.  Then she said it still hurt a little.  I put her in bed and ate my dinner and wondered if she was OK.  As I was about to go to sleep, I heard her crying.  I went into her room and she was in that not-really-asleep-or-awake state.  I couldn't get her to respond or calm down.  We realized that she was having trouble getting her beloved thumb in her mouth!  So, a quick call to the Grammy (who fortunately wasn't leaving until the next day) so she could stay with Scott and off we went to the ER.

The end story is that Jane fractured her wrist.  They put on a temporary cast and she managed to get that little thumb back in her mouth.  I took her to CHOP today and now she has a pretty purple cast for the next 3 weeks.  She should be alright.  She already climbed the swing set ladder with one hand.