Spinning Yellow

Smarty McSmarty Pants

Just in case you thought things were all perfect here after my last post about the conference, I can assure you that they are not.  This whole no school this week thing is a killer.  And we were supposed to go to OT and I had to cancel, again, because I couldn't make it there on time.  Scott is wound up like a top and reeking havoc with friends that are visiting, his best (only) friend, and his sister.  Not to mention his parents and in particular, his father, who is trying to work from home now.

So, since I seem to be always talking about how smart Scott is, I thought it couldn't have been more appropriate to receive this article via a Google Alert I have set up for Sensory Processing Disorder (a cool service you can set up for anything you like to watch, like your blog name, or even your own name).  When I saw the author was Penelope Trunk, I knew I recognized her name.  It took me a few minutes to remember that she was one of the speakers at the BlogHer 2007 conference. 

Although people will say they want kids who are happy, I know that they often think, well, and smart and athletic, too.  The thing with Scott is that he is intelligent and he's also great at sports.  But.  That doesn't change the fact that he can't have a simple playdate, at age six, and still not have a problem.  And that when several kids come over to our house he gets so wound up he ends up hurting people.  Or that he is pissing off his classmates at school with his behavior.

Social skills do matter, even more than intelligence.  I couldn't agree more with Penelope.  You can't just get by on being Smarty McSmarty Pants.  You need to get along with people, too.  And getting other parents to see the benefit in improving these skills as well as teaching our children academics is vitally important for everyone.

My Moment In The Spotlight

I may be remembered from this conference. 

Not because of something brilliant I said or even something stupid.  Not because I wore a fabulous outfit or one that is horribly out of fashion.  Not because people looked at my blog and were impressed or felt a connection (what I was hoping for most of all).

But because of this:

My chin

My shoulder

My knee



I didn’t get mugged.  I didn’t have a drunken accident.  I didn’t even wipe out while running.  I just fell.  On the sidewalk going from the main conference area to the cocktail reception.  I simply tripped on the curb in a shining moment of glory.  Because I was holding a bag in each hand, I didn’t break my fall very well.  I wasn’t wearing high heels.  I hadn’t even had a drink yet.

The fall itself, although embarrassing, was not witnessed by many people.  Mostly by tourists on Navy Pier that I will never see again.  One guy even said I fell gracefully as he handed me my cell phone (yeah, sure).  The big problem is that I look like I got into some kind of bar brawl or cat fight.  People kept asking me if I was OK.  I am fine.  Scraped up and a little sore but nothing major.  I am disappointed that I was too banged up to run this morning.

My lasting impression on the BlogHer community.  For those of you who know me, you can appreciate how fitting this is.  For those of you who don't know me, well, now you do for sure.

From WhyMommy

I am here at BlogHer2007 because of WhyMommy from Toddler Planet who gave me her BlogHer pass.  I am honored to attend in her place.  I want everyone to click over to her post about IBC.  Everyone needs to know what is happening to her and why she is not here.  And they need to be aware of what I knew nothing about. A breast cancer that isn't about mammograms.  Something they never tell you about.  Please read it and pass it on, to any woman you love.  Your mom, sister, friend, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, aunt, daughter, cousin, wife, nanny, neighbor.  Everyone.

She is blogging and sharing her experience.  She is informing people.  She is saving people.

Thank you WhyMommy. 

And thank you, readers, for passing it on.

Being Away

Every time I call home, Jane starts crying.  I am happy that I was not available to say good night today because I couldn't bear to hear her scream again.  Scott has been fine, although he did make me promise before I left that nothing would happen to him while I was gone.  I normally do not like to lie or promise things I can't control, but in this case, it seemed like the right thing to do to reassure him.  Jane also told me in a sad little voice "don't leave me" yesterday morning.  This after she had said at dinner, in response to me stating that no one at the conference was going to want to hang out with me, "I'll hang out with you, Mommy."

Feeling guilty, anyone?

Even though this makes me sad momentarily, it does not make me feel that this trip shouldn't have happened.  I am quite happy to be here.  This first day has been amazing.  I've listened in on some terrific discussions and met fabulous bloggers.  Some people I did not know before and some that I have been admiring and was hoping to meet.

It was loud in the hotel last night.  People partying, kids crying, sirens outside.  I remember now that this is one of the things I dislike about traveling.  Being here in Chicago really brings back memories of my former single, professional life.  I used to come to Chicago a lot for business because the large consulting firm I worked for was headquartered here and we had to attend training sessions at their compound.  I even visited friends here and was surprised to recognize the restaurant across the street from the hotel where I became a coffee drinker back in 1993.

This morning I got up early, went to Starbucks, and then went running along the lake.  There were so many people out exercising.  I felt great afterwards.  Four miles.  It was very calming to get that run in while everything else is so different.  The consistency of hearing myself breath and the feeling of my feet hitting the pavement was grounding.

I forgot how nice everyone is here.  It is obvious that this is not the East Coast.  And I also forgot what a great city this is.  I do love sight seeing and being in a city.  I enjoy the pulse of an urban community.  The access to everything.  I still do not know why, but there was a smell in the air this morning of brownies baking.  It was heavenly and so unexpected.  It reminded me of the way it smelled in Hackettstown, NJ where I worked at the M&M plant.

Traveling now seems so different than when I was in the thick of it.  With my laptop, cell phone, iPod, and WiFi, I am easy to reach and can stay connected.  The technology is incredible.

There is a lot to say about this conference and what I have learned and experienced so far.  Tomorrow is another jam-packed day.  I feel invigorated to blog more and to focus on certain things. As I discuss this blog and my original intentions I realize how much I have to offer.  People are interested.

Now I need some sleep.  More tomorrow.

I'm Off, Ready Or Not

No new shoes, but I did mange to print out cards (with lots of help from Matt).  They are kind of cute with a logo I scribbled together:

 

What do you think?

I am now here in Chicago.  I already met a few people in the lobby, but begged off their invitation to a cocktail party so that I could get settled.

Here's what I wrote in the airport:

My flight has been delayed.  Just when I thought I was on my way!  This will mark the third airplane trip I have taken since 9/11/01.  I used to be quite the frequent flyer.  When I booked this flight I couldn’t remember my previous frequent flyer number.  I had to rifle through old day planners to find my last DC address and then verify the number with my maiden name.  It’s been awhile.  My Mileage Plus account showed a lifetime miles flown of over 68,000. 

It seems like forever since I was a young jet setter traveling back and forth between DC and LA (early 1990's).  I felt like a fraud at that stage in my life.  Although I enjoyed the perks of a good paying job with an expense account, I missed being in one place, feeling like I was growing roots.  And I never got over the fact that I was young and they were billing me out at some huge rate compared to my lack of experience.

I feel a little of that now while I sit here and wait for my flight.  I have a laptop!  I am using it, here, in the airport!  Who am I?  Normally I am squirreled away at home with little children.  I wear whatever I can find for the day and that suits my purposes.  I feel that I am exposed, here, out in the open.  Forced to come to terms with my self imposed exile from other non-SAHM people.  I think this is good for me even if it is making me uncomfortable.  It is time.

I have been upset with myself for being anxious about this conference.  I am not, generally, socially anxious.  I can meet new people and join in with groups.  Sure, I get nervous, but, among my many issues, I would not add being shy or afraid of new people.  And yet, I feel out of my league.  Like a fraud again.  I won the pass to this conference and I am worried that my sponsors will wonder why they gave it to me. 

And I have been thinking a lot about how I don’t have new clothes or shoes.  I dislike shopping in general, but also don’t want to spend any money I don’t have to.  This morning as I was starting finishing packing, a calm came over me.  Why was I getting all frazzled?  I know who I am.  Although I'd like to look good and have trendy clothes, that's not really my thing.  I am not willing to spend the time or effort on it.  So, until I have lots of money or more time, it will probably not be one of my top priorities to have the latest fashion.  I am OK with this.  I have no issue with people who do like that.  Maybe if I am lucky, one of the "it" girls will help me look better, like my college friends who would dress me up before we went out.

What I won’t miss on this trip:

Changing Jane’s diapers and wiping Scott's butt

Listening to the whining and complaining

Doing laundry, fixing up meals, cleaning up

Being woken up at night by the dog, a child, or my insomniac husband

Breaking up sibling fights

Saying to Scott any of the following things:  Stop doing that, calm down, you may not throw things at your sister, it is never OK to hurt someone to get what you want, relax, your engine's running too fast, leave her alone, go to your room

Applying sunscreen, strapping kids into car seats, telling everyone to hurry up

What I will miss:

Tucking everyone in at night

Saying good morning right when they get up

Snuggling and laughing with Matt

Petting Libby

Watching Jane putter around the house, putting things where she wants them to go while she sings Backyardigan songs to herself

Having conversations with Scott like the ones I had today that went:

1. Mommy, where did all this come from, you know, the world, the trees and grass and people and all?  Prompting me to discuss the religious view and the Big Bang view and then talk about evolution and how we adapt and rounding out with the fact that he may not get wisdom teeth because humans have evolved out of a need for them.

2.  Mommy, what's a lawyer?  Prompting me to discuss the law and then trials and prosecutors and  defenders and  how in America we are all innocent until proven guilty.  A follow up question about what happens if the defender thinks their client is guilty led to a great discussion about how everyone is entitled to fair representation.

* Side note - I love these deep discussions with Scott.  As I wrote this I realized that maybe I just like the opportunity to tell someone stuff who will listen!

Giving and receiving lots of hugs and kisses

The funny things the kids say like last night when Scott was unhappy with his dinner and we asked why.  "Well, first of all, my steak is too chewy and second of all, there is no second of all"  or Jane at the pool today saying she wanted to jump in 4 more times and trying to count that out on her hand.  "Not this one," she said as she pointed to her thumb and then held up the 4 other fingers.

Being at my house, surrounded by the things I care about and the people I love

And because I am not quite done, thank-you, I'll add a little more.

While I was waiting in the airport I started talking to a guy sitting next to me.  "Are you going to Chicago for business or fun?" he asked.  "Both, I am going to a conference."  "Oh, what for?"  "It's a conference for bloggers."  "What, exactly is a blog anyway?" he asked.

I suddenly felt like a blogging ambassador.  What is a blog?  Great question.  Wikepedia says that a blog is a web log, written in chronological order.  I told the man that a blog is an on-line record of events or thoughts or opinions.  That it can be political or personal or whatever the person wants it to be.  That it is often used for finding people you have things in common with, a community outside of where you live or your relatives.

When he found out that I write about my kids and parenting, he proudly showed off a photo of his one year old daughter.  I realized that although I have become wrapped up in blogging, it is still a fairly unknown world to most people.  I thought about how I had been comparing myself to other mommy bloggers.  Ones who have lots of readers, who sell hip clothes, who are far better writers than I. 

But that's not my place.  I know who I am.  I have my own voice, that is why I am writing this blog.  I am here at this conference for a reason.  I am the only one who can tell my story about me and about my life.

I am not a fraud.

BlogHer in 2 Days!

I am so not ready!  I don't have new shoes or cards.  I can barely use my new MacBook.  I am totally worried about all the things that people are writing about.  Except the size of my ass.  Not concerned with that.  Or the humidity and how it might affect my hair.  That is solved by my short, curly, no work, summer hairdo.  My biggest concern is with my lack of experience and talent.  And being away.  More on all that in another post.  In an effort to get with the program here is my information:

Not that anyone who is actually going to be at BlogHer reads this blog, but here goes my 10 second intro:

I am a morning person, I would rather get up early than stay up late

Dessert that is not chocolate is a waste of time and don't ruin my chocolate by putting fruit in it (except chocolate covered strawberries or bananas in fondue)

I can't cook or clean very well but I love good food and a clean house

Stickers give me a nails-on-chalk-board type of feeling (don't expect me to put any on my laptop)

In high school, my aptitude test said I should be an auto mechanic

I don't watch much TV

The only carbonated beverage I drink is beer

I love to ride on boats but don't like to swim

I dislike organized religion and loathe the current American administration (I not involved in any anti-whatever movements) but I get all choked up over religious and patriotic songs

I never learned to type

I am not shy and have been known to talk too much or say inappropriate things

I was once an excellent computer programmer but it took me a good 20 minutes to figure out how to insert the above button into this post

Oh yeah, you can't wait to meet me!  I am soooo interesting and exciting!

Next on the agenda:

I will try to be a part of the scavenger hunt for something to do.  But please do not include me in some list of fashion don'ts or lame shoes.  Please, I beg you.

My first name is Lori

I wear a size 7 or 7 1/2 shoe

I may use a paper and pen even if I have my laptop because I like to actually write (see above on typing)

I will probably drink something non-alcoholic because if I drink too much I will embarrass myself (also see above on not being shy)

I am often mistaken for other people so it probably won't be hard to find a look-alike

It is possible that I am the newest blogger (started in late March)

Now I can go back to trying to print cards, packing, and generally stressing out.