Maybe

At the end of each month I receive an email from the NaBloPoMo people with the blogging theme for the next month.  I look forward to this announcement, reading with excitement the new prompt.  Each month I think, that's IT!  What a great theme!  THIS will be the month I start blogging again.  Who wouldn't be able to take that idea and run with it?  I start composing posts in my head, planning out what I will say when and how I will explain where we are and what happened during all the time when I wasn't blogging.  Slowly, I lose enthusiasm as the amount of information I want to convey gets larger and fills my head.  I think about all the posts I've started and abandoned.  My need to do things "right" and my natural procrastination as I feel overwhelmed, take over.  I think about how lame it is to blog sort of.  I don't want to listen to myself, why would anyone else?  By the time the first day of the month is over and I haven't blogged, yet again, I've already given up.

This month's theme is "MAYBE".  May Be.  How clever!  Full of possibility.  But also not a true commitment.  Perhaps May will Be the month!  Maybe I will start blogging again.  Maybe I will be able to write about enough to get people up to speed.  Maybe I will find my tribe again and people will actually be interested enough (or kind enough) to read here.  Maybe I won't feel insecure about my writing or whether my thoughts are worthy of blogging.  Maybe I will make the time for this... 

Perhaps.

Maybe.

 

Or Maybe Not.