Phinally

Wait. I forgot to tell you I wasn't going to post until the Phillies were done playing for the season?  And then they went on to win the World Series so it ended up being a longer hiatus than expected?  Oh, that wasn't it?  What I said was that I couldn't post until after Scott's football season was over, because between the practices and the games I was exhausted and overwhelmed.  No?

You're right.  I didn't say those things because, of course, I never actually intended to take an almost two month break from blogging.

But here I am.  Guess what finally got me to write?  Now you know.  It's that time of the year again:  NaBloPoMo. National Blog Posting Month.  Last year I decided to take the plunge and post something every day for the month of November.  It wasn't easy.  And I wrote several not-so-great posts just to complete the assignment.

The good thing, though, was that it made me write.  Every day.  For someone without a background in writing this is key to keeping momentum and improving skills.  Even if the content might leave something to be desired on occasion, I did manage to get in 30 days straight.

The other thing was that writing all month helped me work through the issues I was having.

I do like a goal.  Really, without one, I rarely get anything done.  If you don't believe me, just ask my husband.

When I don't write I feel a back up of ideas and information drowning me.  And I feel sick about not keeping up with my end of the deal.  To share my life, stories, opinions.  To help me process things.  To record events. 

And then there's the community.  Oh, the support of the blogosphere.  I've been able to get some of it through Twitter in the last few months where I post things like the day my dog couldn't get up and how my shower broke and flooded the family room.

But I miss this.  The guilt is unbearable.  It makes me angry with myself.  And what about the blogs I haven't been visiting?  Or those that I have but do not comment?  This makes me, literally, sick to my stomach.

So how do I, once again, jump back in when so much has happened?  I hate when I have to do posts where I list a bunch of events or I try to sum up large periods of time.  Those aren't all that accurate and lose what is the essence of blogging: the intimacy and immediacy of being privy to the details, in the moment, of someone's life.

So I am not going to backtrack that way, at least not for tonight.  I have lists all over the place with things I didn't want to forget to add to posts and of general themes.  There is always so much to say.

But for today, I will quote myself (oh, how I've always wanted to do that!), with this, from my very first post a year and a half ago, to remind myself of why I decided to blog in the first place:

I am starting this journal to talk about my life.  As a mom, as a thinker, to tell about my amazing son and my delightful daughter and to talk about what’s happened and what I want to happen. And to share ideas and learn from others. And most of all, to fight my urge not to do it.  Because I don’t want to be the person who never does what they could have done. So I am starting here and now.

I hope you'll come along for the ride again this year.  And if you have something you'd like me to post about, please let me know in the comments.  Thanks.

Comments

[Patty]

Seriously, don't feel guilty. The whole point of blogging, I think, is to let off that steam and frustration and just share ideas. If it becomes guilt-inducing then it is just another chore. I do like reading your posts, though!

[Tracy]

So glad you are back! I've missed your posting!

[magpie]

Hi!

I am happy to see you...and I wish you luck this month.

[floating in space]

Welcome back! Looking forward to hearing your voice this November.

[kristen]

Welcome back! Has it really been two months? Boy, time flies, my friend. We missed you...

[Niksmom]

Yay!!! I like your determination, too. :-) Don't feel bad about *any* of it (unless it motivates you). Forgive yourself and just pick up the thread and start writing. We'll read whatever you put out here. ;-)

[Kyla]

Woohoo! Let's do this.

(ps: don't feel guilty, the blogsphere is like a good book...you can pick it back up when you have time!)