Daddy wants to take you guys to the pool. Let's get ready.
To the pool? I don't want to go. People throw up there. I'll get sick.
You go there every day, honey. You know they clean the pool if anything happens.
Yeah, with chemicals that will make me sick.
No, good chemicals. The kind that clean things. Here, put your swimsuit on.
Wait. Did this fall on the floor? I'm not putting that on, its dirty. It has dog hair on it.
It was on the floor for a second. You roll around on the floor. How can you say that this is dirty?
It is. I'm not putting it on.
OK, fine. Go get a new suit. Then I'll put on your sunscreen.
No. No sunscreen. It's August. I have a tan. I can skip sunscreen now.
No, you still need sunscreen. But you do have a little bit of a tan. I love those freckles on your nose.
Ugh. I hate the freckles. I probably have skin cancer. That's what those freckles are.
No. But if I don't put on the sunscreen you might get a burn and end up with cancer when you are older.
I'm just going to stay home. I shouldn't go out in the sun anyway. They might make me wear a life jacket like they did in swim class. I am NOT doing that again.
OK, fine, stay home. You do love to swim, though.
It's too hot today. I have a headache and I feel sweaty.
That's why you should go to the pool, to cool off. Go get a drink of water.
Wait. Did Jane touch my glass? She did, didn't she? I need a new glass.
I don't think she touched your glass, but I'll get you a new one. You know, you do touch the same things as her all the time.
Ick! What is she doing? She just made a weird sound. Is she going to throw up? Am I going to get sick?
No, you aren't going to get sick. She isn't sick. She just coughed. Come on, Daddy is ready. Maybe he'll get you a treat from the ice cream truck.
But there are bees there by the trash cans. What if he won't unwrap my ice cream and throw out the wrapper like you do?
I'm sure he will if you ask him to.
No, he's mad at me.
He is?
Yeah, because I won't try on my football helmet. I am NOT playing football.
But you begged us to sign you up for football. You are a good player. You'll have fun.
I am NOT playing. I am NOT wearing that helmet. It hurts. It gets stuck.
Well, I think you need to get used to it -
And the coaches are going to be mean, just like my second grade teacher!
Wait a minute. The coaches are excited to have you on the team and we've been over this about your teacher. Lots of people say she's perfectly nice once you get to know her.
Right. She won't like me. I can't keep my desk neat and my work is messy. And I do stuff like knock kids over and throw things. I don't want to go back to school. Plus, I'll have to ride the bus! And I might get sick. There's poison on that bus.
OK, lets not talk about that now. Let's just put on the sunscreen so you can have fun at the pool. You are getting to be such a good swimmer! It is going to be fun to swim in the ocean on vacation.
I don't WANT to go on vacation! Twelve hours in the car to be in a place I don't know! I'm staying home!
Well, then you'll have to go to football practice.
*Grunt*
Come on, vacation will be fun. We can do lots of good things. We can even have lunch on the beach.
Outside? In the sand? With the bugs? You know I don't like to eat outside.
Yeah.
I feel sick. My head hurts.
Yeah, me too, Buddy. Me too.
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