The Wrong Kind of Spring Fever

Like most people, I used to look forward to spring.  The opportunity to get outside, the longer days, warmer weather and the end of a school year in sight.  The problem was that I grew up and went to school where there never is much of a spring season.  Winter is still going strong into March with a few nice days, if you are lucky.  True warmer weather doesn't kick in until April and then, in the blink of an eye, or perhaps a few short weeks, it is blazing hot outside and everyone turns on their air conditioners.

When I lived in Washington DC, I fell in love with spring (don't worry Fall, you are still my first love ) and in particular, the once dreaded month of March.  In Pennsylvania and even more so in upstate New York where all my relatives live, March is the gloomiest month of the year.  By that time you are so desperate for spring's warm air and new growth but are met every day with a dull, gray sky.  Seriously, try March in Syracuse, NY, you'll know what I mean.

I used to wish March away, looking forward to when the clocks would change and April would finally arrive.  Even Easter didn't usually occur until after March.  But in DC, oh how lovely March was.  Cherry Blossoms and meals outside.  People biking and running on the paths by the water.  Festivals for St. Patrick's Day.  Clear blue skies and green things growing.  Flowers and birds.  All this lasted not for a short week or two, but for a full two months until the oppressive heat and humidity took hold through the summer.

Now that I am back in the land of little springtime, you'd think I would eagerly look forward to what few days we have.  But no, now I have a new issue with spring:  The end of April marks not just one child's birthday, but both.  Sure, you can combine somethings and it does cut down on jealousy between them.  But holy busy hell has the month of April become.  As I wrote last year, it is second only to the month of December for our family.

For the record, I am not a crazy, huge birthday party, invite everyone and get a pony in the backyard kind of person.  It is just that even small gatherings include planning and organizing.  And the bottom line is that two at the same time is a lot.  And as soon as it is done, May brings many more family birthdays, holidays, and then you are already into summer.

So now March means a prelude to all that.  Where I once couldn't wait for the month to be over, I now feel it flying by too quickly.  Wait.  Stop.  I haven't finished putting away the Christmas decorations.  I don't know what we will plant in the garden.  I need to set up summer camps and classes.  The clocks were changed so early, it is light well past dinner.  I am not ready yet. 

And what are we going to do for those birthdays this year?  Jane has friends from preschool and wants all girly stuff and Scott wants sports.  Who will they invite?  Where should we have it?  I am already having an anxiety attack.

But even before I get all worked up about that, what happened to January and February anyway?  I know I wasn't asleep because I did do stuff, but I was in some sort of fog.  I couldn't figure out if I was depressed or just aimless.  I felt tired all the time, but I thought that was because of the running which really wears me out.  I kept playing my time game and felt very introspective.  And the kids were in this nice, stable, easy place.  Things seemed, dare I say it, manageable, for the first time, really, since Scott was born.

I knew I wasn't taking advantage of the lull.  But I also felt exhausted from all the stress of last fall and from the years of constant issues.  One thing after another, never finding our footing long enough for the dust to settle.  I wanted to rest.  To enjoy the fruit of my labor for a bit.  Perhaps I floundered too long to no real purpose.

A few weeks ago, Matt and I went out to dinner and I was complaining about not knowing what I wanted to do next.  Should I pursue a teaching degree or maybe another career path?  I told him that one thing that really bothered me was that I wanted to write more but couldn't justify the time and effort required.  We agreed that I needed to carve out time for it and that I would start getting up early, like I used to, but for whatever reason (lazy? depressed? exhaustion?) couldn't seem to do lately.

Just as that was agreed upon, the sleepless nights started.  Jane with asthma.  The dog up during thunder storms.  The dog sick.  And then my nightmare:  The puke sickness invaded our home.  NO!!  I do not throw up, you hear me?  And I can handle poop much better than vomit.  We have been soooo lucky.  I knew it was bound to happen, but I thought I kind of had a deal with Karma about the puke thing.  I must have pissed her off.  I was too smug about how Scott never gets sick.  I told people about how we always wash our hands and the kids eat well and get enough sleep.  I even (cringe) blabbed about how easy things had been around here with an almost 7 year old and and an almost 4 year old.

Well, I can't go back now and undo any of that, as if it would change the last two weeks of sleepless hell anyway.  A few highlights:

Jane threw up over and over while sleeping.  I stared at her and repeated, pleases stop, please stop, this must be the last time, while I jumped up to help her throw up without choking. 

Matt put her in our bed, just for a bit, so we could clean her bed, because we are such novices at this kind of parenting and clearly anyone else would have known that she'd then puke all over our bed, also.

I did laundry non-stop for days and almost tossed out a few towels because I just couldn't pick off all the vomit chunks anymore.

Matt had to travel 3 hours each way, two days in a row for meetings on hardly any sleep and then spent his weekend also crouched in front of the toilet.

Scott had a half day on Friday (one of only 4 for the whole year) and within 10 minutes of getting off the bus, he threw up all over my bed (yes, again, my room, because I am a slow learner and I really didn't think he would get sick because he hadn't ever before).

Scott cried and wanted me to hold his hand while sitting in the bathroom because he was terrified.  He thought he was dying, or perhaps choking, and would stand up and try to stop himself from getting sick and thus effectively got vomit all over himself time and time again.

I cried too, for him, because I think throwing up is worse than anything.  Really.  I think I'd rather break a limb than have to endure the violent retching that my poor family had to go through.

My hands are completely raw and chaffed from repeated hand washing.

Matt and I tried to go running on Saturday morning even though we were both tired (I was supposed to run 9 miles).  We got caught in a downpour and had to come home drenched.  I took a shower and then got back into bed (at 11am) and hardly ate anything until tonight, 3 days later (I am the only one who did not throw up).

Fun times here.  I am wildly behind in absolutely everything.  Totally stressed about my race that is coming up in less than 7 weeks.  Easter decorations aren't up, nor are basket items procured.  I am off schedule now with my running training.  Our dog seems to be sicker more often (my baby!).  March is already one third over.

And I have birthday parties to plan.

I do think I've stop floundering about, though.  Nothing like a little kick in the pants, or vomit in the house, to get you back on your game.

I so should have seen this coming.

 

Comments

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Jordan - You always leave the nicest comments! You make me feel like I am more than good enough and for that I am very grateful.

tulipmom - thank you for the website, I think I've gotten ideas from there before. I feel like each year I am less creative. Planning birthdays really does get old.

Cyndi - my dear cousin, so nice to see you here! You will forever be defending Syracuse when you defect to the south. I know what you mean about being productive, it's like the old saying, "if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it".

[Cyndi]

Ok, stop bashing Syracuse. No actually go ahead. I was just complaining about the same thing this morning. I can handle Syracuse most of the year, but March and even April are the hardest. March because it is still truly winter. April because you so desperately want Spring but mother nature is still making up her mind. The there are the years it snows on Mother's Day. Atlanta looks better by the day.

Sorry you were all sick. We just had the strep thing. I was just waiting for the other but it never happened, knock (hard) on wood.

You have to cut yourself some slack. Everyone has productive periods, be they days, weeks or months, but those are balanced with "just get through it" time periods. It's like in school when you had a bunch of extra-curriculars going at once and got everything done and when you didn't you couldn't even get your homework done. I am currently in a slump myself, so I completely understand.

[tulipmom]

Sounds like you all have really been through the ringer. Cleaning up never-ending puke has got to be one of my least favorite tasks in the entire world.

I'm hoping these next weeks will bring good health and some easy birthday ideas. Speaking of which, check out wwww.birthdaypartyideas.com .... chock-full of party inspiration.

[Jordan]

Oh, God. How awful. We've had that a few times, and there's nothing worse. But I always bounce back from a time like that with a new attitude and fresh energy, as if we nearly missed getting hit by a train - sounds like you've bounced back,too. But go easy on yourself, sometimes it's nice to take a respite for a while. It might not always feel productive, but you must have needed it! It's nice to "see" you back here, though!

[delilah]

I can totally relate to everything you wrote about... March, the birthday parties, the puking.

I'm glad all of that handwashing paid off and your puke-free streak is still intact.

[kristen]

Ugh. I'm so sorry about the sick. But I'm with you, I hate it too. Poor babies!!! And yes, time does seem to be zipping away from us.