Runner's High

My friend (hi tac!) called this morning to quickly catch-up on her way to work.  She wanted to tell me that she had just read my last few posts and although she had things to say about them, she was most impressed with my sidebar item that showed I had run over 8 miles.

Oh, yeah, that, I thought.  After we got off the phone and I was getting ready to go for my scheduled run I realized how fast the voice inside my head put myself down.  That was 2 weeks ago and it was sooo hard.  I was unbearably slow.  Running is still so difficult.  Why am I not getting better at it? 

When I wrote my New Year's post about wanting to stop thinking about all that I wasn't doing, I really meant it.  I find this to be exceedingly difficult.  I tend to look at what I haven't done.  What I could be doing, but aren't.  All my failings.  While it might have seemed like I was trying to let myself off the hook, what I was really doing was attempting to quit whining and focusing on the negative.  I have written so much on this blog about what I should or need to be doing, I was boring and annoying myself.  Why must I be this way?

So, as I laced up my shoes and thought about where I was going to run, I tried to pump myself up.  OK, yes, it has been hard.  But she's right.  I did run 8 miles.  In a row.  No stopping.  Last year at this time I couldn't even run a mile.

I was going to run 4 miles even though my training schedule called for 6, but then I decided that it wasn't as cold as I had thought and since I had the opportunity to get the 6 miles done, I would go for it.  I put on my fast Nike Running mix music and headed out on my 6 mile run route.  I jog about a block, stretch a bit, and then head toward the park.  The park is about 2 miles away and has a mile and a half mile loop that I can go around.  This past weekend Matt joined me for my 6 mile taper off (also known as a recovery) week.  I was sick on Saturday and took it easy during the run, afraid to push myself, only tackling the big hill once.

But today I was fired up.  I ran fast.  And did the hill twice.  I thought about what I've already accomplished.  How hard running can still be.  About the days when I feel like I am slogging through jell-o or my shins feel like they will break in half like toothpicks on each impact.  How I now know about aching calves and sore knees.  About my bra chafing incident that left me with a bloody rash around my midriff.

On my way home I passed an older man who I have seen before.  He usually waves a little hello.  I took my ear bud off and said, "You always see me on my way back when I am dying!"  He shook his fist in the air and said, "Keep going, you're almost there!"

I decided to run even faster for that last quarter mile home, spurred on by his cheer.  I made it to my corner with a big smile and checked my iPod.  The moment of truth:   One hour, two minutes, 6.28 miles, 9:56 per mile, the voice read me my stats.  Six miles at less than ten minute miles!  A new record for me!

After I cooled off a little, stretched and had a drink, I went upstairs to take a shower.  I glanced at the scale, questioning whether I should look for another victory.  I am not running to lose weight or even to get in shape particularly, even though both would be added bonuses.  My primary goal with the running is to push myself to do something I never dreamed that I could.  I have been fit before from strength training and walking.  The numbers on the scale have fluctuated for years, even before having kids and it has never been something I get too worked up about.

I know that muscle weighs more than fat and when you exercise, the scale doesn't always reflect your progress accurately.  Still.  I had promised myself I'd only weigh in on the first of the month so that I would only see success.  The number on the scale was exactly the same on February first as it was on January first.  How could that be?  I was running regularly.  Burning a lot of calories.  But the scale hadn't budged.

Today I decided to break my pact and step on that damn thing.  Three pounds lighter!  Maybe it was all sweat and water lost.  I don't care.  I feel triumphant anyway.

Usually I think that running is kicking my ass.  Today I think I gave it a little run for it's money.  I will be running 8 miles this weekend to start a ramp up/build phase again.  I know it will continue to be difficult with good days and not-so-good.  But I will remember today, when suddenly running 6 miles seemed like no big deal.  When I thought about what I had already done instead of what I hadn't.  And how that made all the difference.

Comments

[cliffthoughts]

If it wasn't nearly time for bed, I'd be inspired to run after reading this post! I've fallen off of the running wagon these last few weeks and after reading this I want to hop back on!

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Yes, Terry, that's it! How our perception changes. Very well put - thanks for stopping by.

And thank you, everyone, for your words of support. This is one of the great things about blogging. When I am feeling discouraged, I can read here about this day and the comments you've left and feel motivated. My most favorite compliment is that I might have helped someone else feel inspired to do something they didn't think they could, be it physical or otherwise.

[Terry]

Congratulations! What a great accomplishment!

Running really makes you think about how we perceive things. Non-Runners see 6 miles as some magical distance that is so untouchable that it's not possible to reach that far. And it isn't to just go out the door and try to run 6 miles. You start out slow and you get the little victories. But we all have a different running story... now, you've set a PR for your (essential) 10k distance. But perception wise it goes from "OMG, I have to run 6 miles" to "Hey, it's just 6 miles" and it isn't that the distance has changed, WE have changed.

great work on your accomplishment!

[slouching mom]

Wow. That is amazing.

You are amazing.

[Casdok]

Very impressed!! Good for you :)
I really must go out for a walk!

[Laura]

Lori-that is great! I am so proud of you and you should be proud of yourself. I always say that I work out not to lose weight but more for my mind/sanity!

[delilah]

You rock! Really, you so impress me.

[tulipmom]

You are amazing!

And thanks for reminding me to focus on what I HAVE done instead of on what I haven't.

[kristen]

I'm thinking about running up and down my stairs a few dozen times in lieu of buying a piece of exercise equipment. I already know I won't do the gym thing and the running thing will never happen for me...so, I'm thinking the stairs.

Meanwhile, you are awesome!!!

[mrs. chicken]

Good for you! This inspired me to get my pregnant butt on my treadmill for a walk this weekend.