Welcome 2008!

I am one of those silly, all optimistic, "it's going to be a great year", kind of people.  For years I would dutifully record my New Year's resolutions.  I have many long lists of how I am going to be a better person.  I like the fresh start idea.  Out with the old, in with the new....  wait I sound like I am about to launch into the music from "Fabulous" in High School Musical 2 which we've been watching non-stop around here and even went to the Ice Show yesterday. 

I am a sucker for trying to finally do things right.

Except that I am no different from everyone else and every time I make those resolutions I inevitably break them.  Usually before I even get to February.

2007 has been an eventful year, but really, every year seems like that.  I do know that I will always remember this year as the one that I started blogging in and the year that I became a runner.  I will probably remember that this is the year that Matt left the company he started and that we almost moved.  I will most definitely recall that I agonized over having a third child, and after finally giving it a try, got pregnant and then had a miscarriage.  (I should be linking all this, but don't have the energy).

But so much else happened, also.  Much of it with the kids.  And with me and a change in perspective.

I like bringing things together, finding the meaning and seeking clarity.  But there is always so much to do!  The blogging is one example, as my friend at One March Day put it in an email:

I wish I had time daily to keep up with everyone's posts, and I wish I had time to write more myself.  The way things usually end up going is that I either take some time to post, but then I get behind on keeping up with everyone else.  Or, I spend time catching up on everyone else's blogs, but by the time I get to each one, several weeks have gone by and I've missed birthdays and traumatic events and I end up feeling like a bad friend who was not there for them.

My sentiments, exactly.  I feel that I spend a lot of time fretting about this very thing.  Along with lots of other things I feel I should be doing and aren't.

But I am sick of talking about it.  So my New Year's resolution this year is only one thing:

To refrain from discussing or apologizing about all that I should be, or wish, I was doing.

I know that is one huge resolution.  Nothing will change, really, I will still feel guilty for not cleaning the house more or for not being more organized.  For my lack of blogging or checking in with people.  What I will not do though, is focus on that which I am not doing.  I will try (it will be very hard) to simply not think that way.

Does that sound feasible?

Oh and I signed up to do the half-marathon at the end of April.  Matt will be doing the same race, probably in half the time it takes me to complete. 

I do need some concrete goals, of course.

Comments

[Matthew]

will she ever post again...? i need to find out what's going on...:)

[Don Mills Diva]

A half marathon? Sounds like a resolution to me and a challenging one at that. Just discovered your site and think it's great!

[kyra]

i have decided no goals this year; no lists; no to dos. only to stay awake to what is happening in the moment as best as i can.

and that includes sometimes posting every day; sometimes neglecting my blog for weeks; sometimes keeping up with all the blogs i love to read; sometimes neglecting them for weeks!

here i am, 2008, full of flaws. take me anyway!!!

[Jenn]

I, too, am an "I'm sorrier" person.

That is a great resolution, so I'm totally going to steal it.

Sorry. :)

[Jordan]

I like you just the way you are...great writing, interesting insights into parenting and life in general, comments on at least 7 of my posts all at once early on a Sunday morning, staying in your pajamas as long as you can get away with it, and ditto on the house-cleaning. If you can be you and not feel bad about it this year, then it's going to be a fantastic 2008 for you! ;-)

[Dee]

Good choice for a New Year's resolution. When you figure out how to lose the guilt, let me know!!

[March Day]

Lori, I have not yet set any New Year's Resolutions for the same reason you mention here (breaking it by February). I might just have to steal yours, though. Except the half-marathon - mine will have to be quite a bit more modest.

Here's to 2008!

[niksmom]

Lori, I think it's a great goal (well, both, actually). :-) Wishing you a very happy new year filled with guilt-free moments (notice I didn't say a guilt-free year...that's just waaaay too much pressure for anyone!!), joy, laughter, and pride over your accomplishments. :-)

(Reposted to correct my URL...duh!)

[Niksmom]

Lori, I think it's a great goal (well, both, actually). :-) Wishing you a very happy new year filled with guilt-free moments (notice I didn't say a guilt-free year...that's just waaaay too much pressure for anyone!!), joy, laughter, and pride over your accomplishments. :-)

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Jen P. - go for the 5K, and no race, no matter how small, should be prefaced with "just a". It always takes effort!

Oh Barb, I had to send you a separate e-mail b/c there was much to say, but I'll sum up here that I feel your pain. Having 2 kids can feel like having 10! It will get easier, I promise! To 2008, a year of not feeling guilty!

Julie - I agree. I was trying to mostly say that I am sick of wasting time whining. You know, we're all busy and wish we could do more and all, so I just want to quit blabbing on about it. I think probably 50% of my posts are about me complaining about not getting things done. Seriously. I'm sick of listening to myself.

[Mrs. Chicken]

A most excellent goal, that first one. I may have to co-opt it.

[Julie Pippert]

That's a great resolution.

I never expect myself to cold turkey something, so yeah I think that's feasible.

I'm sure there will be times it's appropriate to apologize, times you do it but don't need to and you become mindful of it, and then, the times you start but catch yourself and ultimately, a wise awareness of only doing it when necessary.:)

Julie
Using My Words
http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com

[Marla]

Not worrying about all of these things sounds great! Happy New Year!

[Barb Laurenson]

I'm catching up on Spinning Yellow - it's been a while! I've just spent the most enjoyable half hour reading your posts, and I have a comment for nearly all of them since they all spoke to me. But -- of course -- no time to do all, so here's one: I've made 8 New Year's resolutions (the optimistic fresh start attitude prevails!); the key one being "Stop feeling guilty." I had a total meltdown a few weeks ago about how I'm sick of feeling guilty for EVERYTHING -- for being the first one out of work everyday and still the last one to pick up my kids at daycare. For doing laundry or making dinner instead of give my undivided attention to the child who cannot play by herself or be by herself for more than 30 seconds on the days I don't work. I'm sick of feeling guilty because AJ still isn't crawling and I can't get down on the floor to encourage her because the older child leech has me constantly apologizing and saying, "Be right there," as I try to brush my teeth or get the mail. I've decided that when it's mom's time to get something done (we divide the day up into time for her and time for me), and she can't leave me alone (which is generally all the time), she gets time out, and I don't care if she ends up in time out for her whole half of the day. And I'm not going to apologize for not being a nice mom and I'm not going to feel guilty if she spends half the day crying. Hmmm...maybe she won't want my attention so much if I'm mean! I'm not going to feel guilty for spending time preparing a healthy snack that she won't eat and then watching her mope about in her hungry state nagging me. She'll get a time-out. I'm also not going to feel guilty for giving her goldfish for snack. I'm not going to feel guilty for letting her watch more than 30 minutes of TV a day. I'm not going to feel guilty when I shoo her away from AJ so I can actually have an uninterrupted hug with the little one. And there's so much more!!! Gee...this is like my own post!

[Jen P]

Setting the intention is the first step! You share that goal with many of us! As a matter of fact, I stopped being hard on myself about not hanging up the clothes in our closet and I'm in the middle of designing a non-traditional closet space just for my right-brain. I'm very excited about it!

Half-marathon! Woo hoo! I'm waivering back and forth on whether to do just a 5K in April! Ha! The last race I ran was an 8K in 2003 (the year of The Elder's birth).

[delilah]

Concrete goals are a good thing. I think it makes them easier to accomplish. Happy 2008!

[tulipmom]

That sounds like a really worthwhile goal. Happy 2008!

[Laura]

Very good resolution for sure! I am cutting back on breads and pasta b/c I love them and eat too much of them. I know it sounds stupid, but it will be hard for me. Happy New Year to you and your family!

[kristen]

I agree. Well-spoken and well-chosen goals. Happy New Year, friend. It's been a pleasure, and I look forward to a wonderful year in your virtual company.

[slouching mom]

i think that's an admirable goal. both of them, actually.