The Roof, the Roof, the Roof is on Fire!

Since my husband is now working from home, he can do some things during the day that he would not ordinarily.  On Thursday it looked like this outside:

 (can you see the ice on the tree?)


So he decided to make a fire.  Typically on Thursday's, I have a good chunk of the day to myself.  Jane goes to preschool and then Delilah picks her up for a playdate with Annie.  I usually run errands and, you know, do stuff without any children.  I look forward to Thursdays, especially now, during the holidays, when I am busy, busy, busy.  It is a fabulous arrangement. 

Except when Jane refuses to go to school.

Jane didn't want to go to dance class the day before, either.  Since she hadn't missed any classes and had been sick the day before, I let her stay home.  I hate to push about classes.  Maybe it was just an off day.  But the little voice inside my head said don't let her get away with it. 

Then the school thing.  I always say that you have to go to school or go to the doctor.  She screamed and cried and pitched a royal fit.  I finally gave in when she said she'd take a nap.  I figured she must still be sick and put her back in bed.

Normally she loooovves dance and school.  Can't wait to go.  I am hoping it is just some phase.  A combination of being tired, the holiday frazzles, and knowing that Daddy is home.  Lately, she is vaguely aware of time, saying, "is that this year?" when I tell her it is time to go to school.  Or announcing, "it is 17 o'clock, time for dinner!" at 8am.  When I say we have to go to dance, she thinks, when I am ready the class will be there.

I was not happy considering the long list of things I needed to do during the time she was supposed to be occupied.  But so it goes in the world of small children and mothers who think they will actually accomplish something.

As best as I could, I tried not to panic (dance costs a fortune and school is only 5 hours per week for crying-out-loud, you'd think she could go) and attempted to make the day super boring.  Constantly mentioning how she could have been at school having fun, or making a project, or whatever else I could dream up.  Maybe today they went on the stage and it was super fun.  Or it was so-and-so's birthday, I wonder what kind of treat they brought in?

I think she was on to me because she didn't bite at all.  Just asked to lie down and watch TV.

Anyway, Matt saw that she was home and decided to make the fire.  So it would be all cozy at home (he wasn't aware of my no fun plan).  In fact he asked Jane why she didn't go to school and she replied, "it's complicated."  Really.  He was stoking up the fire right around lunchtime when I heard him say, "Oh No!" 

I looked over and there were huge flames in the fireplace, the smoke detectors went off and the room filled with smoke.  Matt told me to call 911, "there's a fire in the chimney!"

I grabbed Jane and rushed over to my neighbor's house.  She has three kids and is great in any kind of crisis.  We heard sirens right away and went to the windows. 

I was glad that I was dressed when this happened, because I am often still in my pj's or a bathrobe.  I kid you not.  If my husband and I ever got divorced, number one on his rather long list of reasons why he was leaving me would be, "does not get dressed all day".

I live in a small town, one where all three fire trucks and several other emergency vehicles show up when you call.  Jane was happy to be playing with the neighbors and all the kids were watching with excitement as the trucks pulled up.  She was rehashing the events to them, "I had to get low and go, just like on Elmo Visits the Firehouse!"

I went back to our house, got the dog and put her in the neighbor's yard, then went to see how bad the situation was.  Turns out there wasn't a fire in the chimney.  It was just a back draft caused by moisture and wind and putting dry, real wood on top of an artificial log (not recommended by fire-fighters, apparently).  They tromped around a bit more and told us to move our Christmas tree back and basically that was it.  My mother showed up at some point because she was a few doors down at a cookie exchange.  "All the ladies want to know what's going on," she said as she slipped in her high heeled dress boots.

Another neighbor, a very nice older lady, was outside shoveling ice off of her walk and came over.  I met her on the driveway and explained the situation.  "Well, good thing your husband is home," she said.  I couldn't help but point out that if he hadn't been there, then there wouldn't have been a fire made at all.

Back at my neighbor's house, Jane was having a ball.  "Did you get my babies from my room?  I hope they are OK!"  she asked excitedly.  Libby, our dog, was running around inside their house, also having a grand old time.  My neighbor told me that Jane might as well stay so I could air out and clean up the house.  Her kids weren't going to school because the afternoon Kindergarten classes had been canceled.

Matt felt badly for Scott that he missed all the excitement.  But it was probably just as well.  He tends to panic.  The next night, while out for dinner in town, we heard sirens and Scott stiffened, "what's that?"  Jane said happily, "it's the police and fire trucks, just like at our house!"  Scott said, "Are we in trouble?  Are they coming for us?"  Yeah, better that he wasn't there.

My husband is embarrassed that he overreacted.  But I don't care about that.  I am only mad because this week, when Jane says she doesn't want to go to school or dance, I can't say, "Why would you want to stay home, it is so boring." 

She knows better.

Comments

[Hope]

Okay this was a hilarious story. I am so glad I finally stopped by your blog. I have seen you on Julie's comments list, but well you know...best laid plans and all. Great story!

[MommyWithAttitude]

Funny story! Especially Jane "It's complicated" ha!

My husband is always accidentally FUN for the kids too when I'm trying to be mean or get them to do something. It's like having three kids instead of two sometimes!

[Dee]

Hey, better safe than sorry. I learned not to take fire lightly. Thanks for the visual though! I can picture the whole scene.

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Your comments are cracking me up! But in defense of my husband, he did make the fire b/c he knew I was stuck at home and would like it.

And I appreciate that many of you prefer your pj's, too (but it still doesn't excuse me from regularly not getting dressed until afternoon!)

[Hannah]

Yikes, glad the chimney wasn't in flames, that would have been pretty bad. And I'm really glad Scott wasn't home, I can imagine that would have been too much for him.

But oy, husbands. WTF.

[delilah]

Jane is never going to want to leave your house now! Glad the fire turned out to be nothing. And you are so right that it never would have happened if Matt wasn't home ;)

[Jenn]

Being at home, boring?

Ha. If only that were so.

[kristen]

Well, so many things to comment on here. First, I am so grateful to know that I am not the only one who spends more time in pajamas than out. I have even taken to wearing my long winter "dress up" coat so that I can stay in my jammies for school pickup and no one is the wiser.

Second,these men have got to go to work. They have to be in the office every day. When they are home, things go wrong. Very wrong. Schedules are blown, hours are wasted, it's really a disaster. I get more done when my son is home than when my husband is home!

And finally, the fire? So glad it ended well. Our town is like that too. 911 and 45 seconds later, the whole town and every emergency vehicle in it is in your driveway.

Merry merry!!!

[kyra]

okay, that was just what i needed! so funny! but i'm very glad all was okay.

off to our holiday.

hope yours are delightful!

[Niksmom]

Oh my. Yes, I can see how it will be hard to convince Jane that home is boring now! LOL

Glad it all worked out ok. Sheesh, if getting dressed on a regular basis were a requirement for a happy marriage...I'd be single! Like Tm, I get dressed to go out and do things but when I come home I slip back into my sweats/jammies...I just like to be comfy!

[Laura]

I can so relate to one's hubby being home-it is kind of a PITA sometimes! Anyway, that was hilarious!! Thursday was one rotten day!

[tulipmom]

Oh do I understand! Having Daddy home made it SO much harder to get SB out the door to where he needed to be each day.

As for the non-fire, thank goodness everything was okay.

I'm still laughing at the part where you say "number one on his rather long list of reasons why he was leaving me would be, "does not get dressed all day"." I'm dressed when I take SB to school and pick him up (obviously) but when I'm home during the day, 9 times out of 10 I'm in my pjs. I know D. thinks entire days go by where I don't get dressed since that's what I'm wearing when he leaves and again when he comes home.

[Julie Pippert]

Holy cow! WOW! I don't think your husband overreacted though. I think any sane person would do that, call the fire department. better to do that and feel a little silly later than otherwise.

Glad it was all fine but wow.

P.S. About the dance...have they recently begin talking about recital or anything? My niece suddenly balked at dance class because they mentioned the recital. Just an idea. And sorry...my post for you has gotten pushed back!

Julie
Using My Words
http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com

[Jordan]

Oh, my god, what an adventure! I'm so glad it turned out to be okay. I can see now why it's hard to have Matt working from home. ;-) You're going to have to try a lot harder to be boring over there!! (Oooh, and did I ever relate to suddenly being home with a 3-year old when you had a lot planned - ugh!!)