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November 16, 2007


Lori at Spinning Yellow

March Day - Welcome! Thank you for reading and commenting. I am sorry to hear about your bad dentist experience as well. So much for experts, right?

March Day

Lori - I have seen your comments on some blogs that I read and decided to check out yours. I'm glad I did and look forward to reading more about your experiences.

Before TJ was diagnosed with autism, we took him to a pediatric dentist. I will forever regret letting them hold him down during the exam, and taking him back there again, for more of the same. But, we just didn't know and understand what was going on at the time. And they are supposed to be the experts, right?

We now see a family dentist who is extremely patient and never pushes. He has made significant gains in trusting our hygenist.

It sounds like Scott was very brave, and you know, it is just hard to gage these things and to know when to let them go out on their own and when to push and make it a easier for them.


Yea Scott! Wow, Zoe (who doesn't have a card to play) would have handled that one hundred times worse. The thought terrifies me. She still won't let them do the floride. And I don't mind the dentist all that much...
Sometimes I think people are so busy thinking about getting through the next task that they don't listen or care. I suspect whatever you had said they wouldn't have really absorbed it. Frustrating at best.


Wow, Lori. Sounds like Scott did awesom in spite of the obstacle put in his way by the insensitive dental practice! I have to say, I tend to agree with Kristen on this one. I know there are times I hate to use the "disabilities" card for Nik but when people just don't get it any other way...well, you do what you have to do. Trust your instincts; from all I've read so far, they're usually dead on! xx


I give you credit for going along with their policy of having him go in alone. I don't think I could have done that even though I'm guessing my insisting on accompanying him would only have heightened the anxiety level (and pissed everyone off).

Good for Scott for being so brave but I agree with Kristin that it might make sense to find a new dental practice.

Lori at Spinning Yellow

Kristen - I hesitate to use the "autistic card" b/c, technically, Scott does not have autism (although I know some people include SPD under the ASD umbrella). My husband agrees with you, though, b/c he says, you do what you need to in order for people to understand.

Sometimes I find myself stuck in the middle - I know how much progress he's made so I don't "see" the issues, but then again, I am often the only one who does "see" the differences.

I agree that I (along with most parents) am constantly trying to figure out where to step in and when to let him go on his own. In this case, I think I erred on the side of not wanting to create more of a problem when I should have went with my gut and insisted on more appropriate care.

Thanks for your perspective!

slouching mom

Ugh. I'm sorry it had to play out that way. People don't really listen. Poor Scott.


"But there is a difference between creating an anxiety and managing one that already exists"

Spot on, Lori.

Scott is a brave little boy!


Wow, Lori, there is so much here, and of course you feel horrible for Scott. I don't know what the answer is, but again, I think sometimes IT IS simply a willingness to understand.

We go to a local "family" dentist, very lowkey, very small, quiet practice. He has been extremely careful and kind with my son simply because he believes that kids who are comfortable with the dentist grow into adults who are comfortable with the dentist. He's committed to making it a good experience simply for that reason, not because GP has issues. And guess what? It works. I don't think our dentist "gets" GP's issues, but he's just an exceedingly kind and thoughtful man. My son loves him.

That said, maybe you should take it to the next level and rather than say "my son is sensitive" say "my son has autism"--put it in words that will drive the point home.

Scott did great. He got through it. By himself!! That's huge. And maybe next time the memory of that success will sustain him.

It all ties into the discussion we moms continue to have about when we are supposed to ease their way and when we are supposed to let them stand alone. I know it was hard on both of you, but celebrate his success. And maybe find a more sympathetic dentist?

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