« Meme's the Word | Main | Wordless Wednesday - It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like ... »

November 27, 2007



"I didn't think the values that these schools taught were offensive, I just didn't want my child seeing the world through their belief system."

You NAILED it !! Happily we were able to find a PreSchool for BooRat that is NOT affiliated with any church/religion.


Lori, thanks for the interesting post. Obviously it strikes a chord with me: I live most days feeling very conflicted about not practicing a religion with my children, despite growing up in a strict Catholic family (or maybe because of!) It is very hard knowing that in my mother's eyes I have failed her. I don't know if it is something I will ever really get over. Lucky for you that you are very sure of yourself and have parents who understand you.

Lori at Spinning Yellow

Summer - Thanks for stopping by! I am glad you liked the post and can relate - "a little religious" sort of like "a little bit pregnant" right?


I just found this post at random and I love it! Though I'm Pagan, my partner is an athiest and we both agreed to raise our kids as athiests until they deside on thir own. I still remember when I declined enrolling my oldst in the local Christian preschool being told "But it's only a little religious." LOL

I think many people see having no belief as having nothing. I've been told that without god how would my kids no not to do bad things, as if the onyl possible reason to be a good human being is because there is some guy in the sky telling you to. LOL

Lori at Spinning Yellow

Cyndi - I like the sound of that guy's religion, but you would probably also like to have your favorite Catholic inspired traditions too. I was jealous of you growing up b/c you were part of that Catholic club. I felt like I was missing out. Until you had to go get your throat blessed or some other crazy thing on a Wednesday!!

Niksmom - Thank-you for sharing your background. My MIL who converted to Judaism was raised in a very Catholic household. And my father completely rejected any of his Catholic upbring b/c it was so forced on him. We refer to these people as "recovering Catholics". I like to think of things in terms of spirituality also, instead of organized religion as we know it. That is how I was raised, my participation in youth group was strictly my choice.


Lori, this is a wonderful, thought provoking post. I like to say I am deeply spiritual but not terribly religious. I was brought up in a (loosely practicing) Presbyterian home, but went to church or synagogue with all my friends whenever we had sleepovers. I then went to a Quaker high school. I'm sure I'll get blasted for this one...I do beleieve in God or some higher divine power but not necessarily in all the scriptures. And yet, go figure, I believe in Heaven as a state of being (vs. a place) and in angels. Yes, I'm a totaly Heinz-57 when it comes to religion! A fact which makes my Catholic MIL cringe, despite the fact her son has nothing to do with Catholicism after having it shoved down his throat his entire life.


I'm not sure that I realized that debate of any sort was not allowed at your dinner table either (I'm Lori's cousin). Arguing was clearly not allowed at Grandma and Grandpa Belle's kitchen table!

Great post. I am a practicing (barely) Catholic but after college I dated a guy who was into a religion (the name of which I can't remember right now) that basically accepted all religions as ways that God has presented himself to different people throughout history. (Of course, you have to believe in the basic idea of God to buy into this.) I liked this religion and if I was religion shopping that would have been my choice. I know, it's an easy out, but I liked the basic idea.

Lori at Spinning Yellow

Hannah - No apology necessary!! Please come here and share your thoughts no matter how long. Thanks for adding the history about the Christmas traditions. I think there are few among us who do not have complicated feelings on religion and how we want to pass it on (or not) to our children.

Julie - Thanks! I like the vitamin analogy. I did have to look up IYKWIM (if you know what I mean)!!


We used to have huge political and religious debates over the dinner table when I was a teenager, [still do now come to think of it when I visit home] but I don't think there are any easy answers.

Julie Pippert

This is a fantastic post...and in so many ways we agree, although faith and Christianity is important to me and a regular part of my life. The bottom line, though, is that IMO it has its place, and it's not in the face of everything. IYKWIM.

I think your honesty is so, so, so much better than the religious cafeteria plan.

If I may, I'd like to do a vitamin metaphor here.

Vitamins are good for you, right? So any vitamin is a good thing.

No, false.

You need to know what your body needs, when to take it (time of day) and adverse effects on prescribed and OTC drugs.

Taking vitamins requires mindfulness.

But so few people use mindfulness---or better yet, as relates to your post and that book (which sounds good) critical thinking skills---and just say "oh any vitamin is good!"

Why not say...why do I think I need this vitamin? Should I try to get the nutrition through food instead? What time of day is better to take it?

And so forth.

Again, great post!

Using My Words


Boy, a lot in this post to think about. I was baptised Lutheran and went to church with my grandmother as a kid, but I don't consider myself a Christian. That doesn't stop me from enjoying the holidays, though. I mean, most of the major Christian celebrations were actual pagan fertility or harvest rites, hijacked by the Catholic church and melded with their own religious services as a way to get out of trying to make highland Celts stop celebrating the winter solstice under the guidance of the Druids. Yule logs, mistletoe, holly - these all have their roots in the ancient Druidic traditions. So I don't see it celebrating Xmas under false pretenses, myself. But it is tricky. I was watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special with my two-year-old last night and I realized that the day will come when I have to explain to him why I don't believe it's only about celebrating the birth of an anti-Roman revolutionary figure that happened about 2000 years ago. I'm lucky in that my mom was very open about her particular beliefs and discussion about this was always encouraged, so I'm planning to do the same in my house.

Courageous post. I'll bet you get some comments that are not so nice. I enjoyed reading it, though. And sorry for going on so much... I might tackle this one and my own complicated feelings about it on my blog.

Lori at Spinning Yellow

Matt - How timely - I can't believe I chose this post while you had had that conversation upstairs in your office!

In the case you mentioned the whole thing becomes more complicated. Because it IS more than religion to many Jews, it is also about ethnicity and the further dilution of their race. So from the grandmother's view, she felt her grandson was collaborating with the ethnic cleansing of her day. So sad. Although I can see where she is coming from, I also think there is a way to respect heritage without alienating the very relatives you cherish.

I once made a comment during a book group discussion (the attendees included two of my Jewish friends), that some people could take the whole "Jewish social club, meet a prospective spouse events" as a reverse discrimination. Like, your non-Jewish son is not good enough for my Jewish daughter. Boy did I get a talking to after that. I was merely trying to say that it goes both ways.

I would never (and could never) say that if my daughter were to marry a black man that she would be diluting her "white" heritage. But the idea of losing one's ethnicity is a tough pill to swallow especially for people who have been persecuted and have suffered so much.


I recently reached out to a former vendor whom I never met before but worked with in my previous life to inform her of my change. The conversation quickly turned from business to personal. I have always had a good rapport with her and I think it's because she is generally a nice person and a strait-shooter. I like her, she was a good business partner, and I think she liked me as well. She then went on to tell me her 86 year old mother recently passed away. While sad it wasn't the heart of her story. She informed me that both of her parents were Holocaust survivors and inquired if I were Jewish. I explained to her my upbringing and my current beliefs towards the "G" word and religion in general. She was respectful and understood. As we we talked more, non of which was about business, she said her son was married to a wonderful "Catholic" woman and they recently had their first grandchild. Catholic woman. Why not just a wonderful woman? It goes further. Her mother, whom just passed away, refused to speak to her son after he married this wonderful "Catholic" woman and she never met her grandson's son prior to her passing. While I respect a person's beliefs, understand the atrocities she and her husband (an Auschwitz survivor) endured, I didn't understand (I guess deep down I did) why she couldn't get passed her grandson's decision for the sake of family and love. Her grandson attempted to reach out to his grandmother many, many times and sat Shiva out of respect even throw those were not his beliefs. He never stopped loving her and only chose to remember all of the good times prior to his marriage rather than dwell on the present and the fact that his son never met his great grandmother. I will never know what it is like to be a Holocaust survivor and while this undoubtedly had a lot to do with this situation, those who have suffered, in this case the great grandparents, only suffered more and the sadness only continued and again for no other reason than religion. It never mattered that the son married a great person and had a beautiful child and wanted to teach their son good values and how to be a great person. It never mattered that ther was love or happiness. It only mattered that she was of a different faith and for that their are consequences. I am sure there is more to this story than what I have presented from a 1/2 hour conversation but if you take out the religions or reverse the scenarios it is played out every day in our society. It doesn't have to be this way if only we could respect and look at people for who they really are and not what they believe.


I don't remember having any of these discussions with my parents either. I just remember going to Mass and sitting there because that's what we were supposed to do. It wasn't until I met Gonzo that I started asking questions about religion and forming my own opinions.

We haven't had any of the death/heaven/God discussions in our house yet, though I know it will be soon. So many tough questions to answer that don't really have an answer.


I write about this a lot. It all seems so simple until you actually have little humans looking to you to give a good answer!

As an aside, I'm religious (sort of) and I find Christmas to be the HUGEST pain in the ass. Meanwhile, my atheist mother-in-law is the biggest Christmas fanatic ever. EVER, I'm not kidding. Last week she told me that she has a nativity scene my husband grew up with and she'd like us to have it for our boys. I said, sure (because I'm pretty easy about religion -- any religion or non-religion, whichever). Then she said that the baby Jesus was missing - had been for as far back as any of them could remember. And I joked that they have the atheist nativity scene.

The comments to this entry are closed.

My Last Long Run

BlogHer Ads


Powered by TypePad