« It's All Coming Together | Main | The Meaning Of Things »

October 15, 2007


Lori at Spinning Yellow

From This Mom, who is having typepad problems (OK, I am really getting fed up, she uses typepad on her own blog!!):

the issues of socialization and homeschooling has always been a hot spot--those who don't homeschool often mention it as the main reason they don't believe in homeschooling and yet there are many many children who's experience of the 'social' world in school was confusing, painful, humiliating, and even terrorizing! unfortunately, classrooms are too often places where the emphasis is on controlling the group and that means a lot of waiting for most and worry for some (who are making the others wait). for me, the bottom line is, being around other children will help a child socialize (in a healthy group setting) if that child is able to take in all the sensory information and stay relatively calm and open, therefore, ABLE to learn. one can't learn when one is feeling threatened. sounds like scott's thriving in that way, meeting the challenge, feeling successful and proud of himself and that's wonderful! as to the intellectual challenge, don't underestimate all the silly fun games you play with him--they are all seeping in and helping to shape and strengthen his mind!


Lori at Spinning Yellow

Thanks for all the great information!

I do want to look into a few things, but for the most part, I agree with SM and tac, that this year might be more about just functioning better socially. I know I need to discuss this more with his teacher. I think what gets me the most is that he seems to be there for such a long time that there isn't any time at home to augment like there was last year.

Just an aside, today as the bus pulled up in the morning I noticed that Scott's shorts were on backwards. I quietly told him and as he started to panic ("That's bad! Bad!"), I told him to ask to go to the bathroom when he got to school and put them on right. He got on the bus fine and came home with his pants fixed.

This might seem minor to some people but to me THIS is what it is all about. He handled the situation himself and didn't let it ruin his day. Big stuff for us. I wasn't there to fix it or protect him as I naturally would have. Life goes on and he can feel more confident.

Lori at Spinning Yellow

From my friend tac:

Just a few thoughts as I read through...I'm sure many parents have asked the same question, "is the work too easy for my child, are they bored, etc" But, is it really possible to "sacrifice intellectual potential?" I mean, if the potential is there, won't it always be? Isn't it okay for a child to focus on social or emotional skills for awhile if that is where they are deficient? If they are ahead academically or intellectually as Scott is, it seems to me that will always be the case. He has such a desire to learn: to ask questions, to discuss situations, to explore everything, but maybe this school year for him shouldn't really be about that.
Maybe that sounds crazy - I don't know...I'm no teacher!

Lori at Spinning Yellow

from Niksmom (I have to figure out why Typepad doesn't like some people!!):

I agree with much of what Dee wrote —especially about home school associations. Another thing to consider, if you really think Scott would be better off academically in a different environment, would be homeschooling for academics and having him participate in the extracurricular stuff. You would have to check with someplace like the Homeschool Legal Defense Association (http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1). They are a GREAT legal resource for information on homeschooling in each state) about your own state regs, but usually homeschooled kids are still entitled to participate in activities for the socialization aspects.

You could also consider using mornings to homeschool and afternoons to join classes together or have Scott participate in an activity like Cub Scouts or something. I'm not so sure that school is always the best place to learn socialization skills anyway —so many anxieties and idiosyncrasies seem to be magnified/intensified under the pressure to perform that they just aren't fun to be around.


Lori at Spinning Yellow

From my friend Dee:

I remember feeling the same agony when I went in to observe my son's class, and it was so slow and the material was so easy. As far as homeschooling goes, we know a couple who is planning to homeschool, and apparently there are homeschooling groups that they belong to, where the people get together for social reasons and go together on outings, etc. So, Scott could get the socialization that way. Obviously there is also private school... A lot of schools have scholarships or financial assistance if you felt that it wasn't feasible right now . Public schools have a lot of benefits in that they have many different kinds of programs and activities, but they are not good about keeping the bright kids challenged. Now with the state testing requirements, there is even more emphasis on bringing the lower kids up so that they meet the minimum test score requirements. Our school has done well with not teaching just to pass the test, but they are definitely feeling the pressure (I was just at a meeting where they talked about this issue). I have always said from day 1 with my son that private school is not out of the question if I really feel that he is not benefiting from being at the public school. So far I think it has worked out OK, plus he doesn't do well with change, so I am glad to see him in a place where he finally feels comfortable. I know you said Scott loves one on one attention, so maybe a smaller school would make more sense for him.

If I were you, I would talk to the guidance counselor since you said you needed to touch base with her anyway. Maybe if you approach it that you are asking for her help, she would be open to helping you to find a solution.)

slouching mom

It will get better, Lori, I promise, as he gets up into some higher grades. I was disappointed by K (for Ben) but pleasantly surprised by 1st grade. Every year since has been better than the last.


Just from what I have seen with our preschool experience, having the right teacher makes all the difference. It's unfortunate that one person can make or break your child's school year. I often toy with the idea of homeschooling, but Kate really enjoys being around other kids. That and we also tend to butt heads quite a bit...

Lori at Spinning Yellow

Laura - that IS the way it went!

Kristen - Thank you so much for your comment. We had a great school experience last year also and here we are now. It isn't bad but it could be so much better. I also wonder why can't it be more positive, more creative.

Lori at Spinning Yellow

from my friend Laura:

LOL! Then reality set in and the teacher revealed her true colors, so I got off my arse and got the hell out of there to pick up my GD daughter.........tee-hee!


I really relate to your points about homeschooling. I often wish I could homeschool my son, but as you say, I think he would suffer from the lack of social interaction.

When my son tells me that he spends a lot of time "looking out the window" I have to wonder why he isn't more engaged in what's going on in the classroom. I don't know the answer, but like you, I feel all my old issues with school coming back to haunt me.

I will forever feel like school is the insurmountable challenge. My son does so well in nearly every other environment, every other situation, why does school have to breed anxiety and low self-esteem and heartache? Why can't we pull together a better system of home and school, to reap the benefits of both in a way that nurtures and reinforces the wonderful quirkiness of our kids?

Does it all boil down to the teacher? Am I so much at odds with this year because my son's teacher is not a good fit? Last year I was singing the praises of his school and the staff. This year, not so much.

Yes, talk to the teacher about some organizational strategies that may lessen Scott's anxiety and give him the confidence to continue raising his hand. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Good luck.

The comments to this entry are closed.

My Last Long Run

BlogHer Ads


Powered by TypePad