The Time Game

For as long as I can remember, I have played a game inside my head about time.  It goes like this:

I start by thinking about the same day, one year ago.  For instance, September 10th, 2006.  Then I ask myself what is happening right now that would have been impossible for me to imagine last year at this time.  Like, if you told me on 9/10/06 that I’d be running regularly and that I have a blog (not sure I even knew what one was at that time) and I even went to a blogging conference, I wouldn’t have believed you.  I also play this forward into the future, wondering what might be going on in September of 2008 that I couldn’t possibly foresee now.  Will we live in a different house?  Will we have a new baby?  Will I have a job? 

Get it?

A lot can happen in a year.  It never ceases to amaze me that, if I pick any moment in time, there is always something significant that is happening in my life that I would have never been able to believe one year ago.

At the same time, there are many constants.  I know that next year, I’ll be a year older.  So will Matt and the kids (provided nothing happens to anyone, a version of the game I rarely play, as in what if so-and-so died.  I usually don’t do this.  But I have gone down that road.).  I know that it will be the weekend after Labor Day, after school has already begun, a weekend an ex-boyfriend of mine used to call “the best weekend of sports all year” because it is the opening day for college and professional football, the US Open tennis tournament finals, baseball games getting close to the finals, all at the same time.  A weekend I tend to look forward to as the start of fall, my favorite season, and the beginning of school.  A new start, much better than January 1st.  I am still tan and haven’t started worrying about the holidays yet.

There are many variations of this game to play.  Take, for instance, this weekend.  I can go back in time to 2000, when Matt and I had been married for a month.  My parents had just sold their Day Care School and I was out of a job.  I was wondering if I might be pregnant while I started taking Sociology courses to pursue that elusive Liberal Arts degree.  At that time, I would have been able to imagine having a 4 month old child a year later.  But I didn’t know that I would have such terrible morning sickness and I would abandon my dream of getting a masters degree.  I certainly could have never predicted the horrific terrorist attacks of 9/11 that were one year away.

Or two years ago when Scott started prekindergarten and our world was in such upheaval.  We didn’t know what was wrong with him, but we had come to the conclusion that we all needed some help.  At that time, I surely didn’t believe that one year later he’d be starting kindergarten and doing so well.  Or last year, when Scott got on that bus to go to the big school, I guess I never imagined that we’d be here, with him going to first grade without any additional help at all.

You can further morph this game by looking at any time when something big was happening, say a job change or a house move, and think about one year before.  Would you have been able to know about it?  Or just pick any old time and challenge yourself to come up with at least one significant thing that was impossible for you to imagine happening one year prior.

Or you can shorten or extend the time.  Like a month ago or even a week out.  What has been unexpected?   

As an over-thinker, the fact that I play this game shouldn’t surprise you.  I am prone to continually analyzing my life.  What does amaze me is that I take such delight in the unpredictableness of life when viewed this way.  I am such a control freak.  One who always wants an answer, a clear path from point a to b.  No surprises.  And yet, I love this about life.  That I am always surprised.  That it is impossible for me to know what lies ahead.

Go figure.

Comments

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Niksmom sent me this e-mail:

Hi Lori,

I'm having trouble getting this to post. Tk thinks I haven't registered but I have and now it's not cooperating with me! ARGH...

Anyway, wanted to make sure you saw this:

Hi Lori. Thanks for stopping by my blog. No, don't even worry that your post caused my upset. I was already there when I decided to catchup on some reading. Your post just gave me a framework for it. If it makes you feel better, I also got to see some really NEAT things Nik had been doing in the past. And re-living the day he came off of oxygen (at the age of 15 months!) was as wonderful as it was the first time. :-)

BTW, Kristen, see...we ARE connected! LOL

Cheers,
Niksmom

[Maddy]

As long as we can keep the element of surprise, there will always be more fun ahead.
Best wishes

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Hi Jordan, thanks for reading and commenting! It is crazy to realize how much we can't foresee. I read your blog, too, see it's right in my Blogroll.

tac - I knew you could relate!

SM - "thought-provoking" is one of my favorite compliments!

[Delilah]

It's hard for me to think a year in advance. Unfortunately, I tend to dwell a bit too much on the past. BTW, you better not be living in a new house on this date a year from now!

[kristen]

Oops. Meant Slouching Mom. Niksmom must have been in my imaginary life at that moment. Sigh.

[kristen]

I'm with Niksmom. In my real life, I have a hard time getting past yesterday and tomorrow. But in my imaginary life (the pretend movie that runs in my head in sync to my actual life only 10 times better), there are no bounds.

[Jordan]

Hi, I've been enjoying your blog for a while now but was daunted by the Type Key sign in process (only because I'm a total dork)! Anyway, great blog!

I do a similar thing with time. There have been some really remarkable leaps - I think the biggies like moving, having babies, etc. are really amazing to think about. Thinking back a year from July 2006 to July 2005 and realizing it hadn't even occurred to us that we'd ever leave San Francisco - when here we were, already in Chicago - was a mind-blower. It's really fascinating, I think.

[tac]

I love this post and I love to do the same. Not always a year, maybe, but I love to look back and think, "wow, how could I have ever known "a" would have led to "b". While I wouldn't call myself a control freak, I am rather conservative when it comes to making changes - I tend to do it slowly and safely. Yet, I too am amazed and delighted at the surprises life brings us!

[slouching mom]

I tend to think most about yesterday and tomorrow. I'm not a long-range kind of gal, either prospectively or retrospectively. Long-range thinking has always make me anxious. LOL!

Thought-provoking post!