Our Time

Scott has been reasonably anxious about starting first grade.  Over the past few weeks he has progressed from seeming to be quite scared to a calm, mature realization that it will all be fine once he gets started.  His two biggest concerns have been that he won't want to use a regular, paper napkin and either he'll get in trouble about this (not likely) or he will be embarrassed to use the cloth napkin he will bring from home (quite possible).  The second concern is that because he will be away from me for such a long time (8:45am - 4:15pm) he will want to tell me things and will forget them.

Scott loves to tell me stuff.  Usually, this is great.  I felt like I knew about most of his day when he was in Kindergarten.  He would detail out what happened when, who said what, what he did and even how he felt.  He notices everything and has an unbelievable memory.

I say, usually, because sometimes he tells me stuff I don't need to hear.  Like, he'll run upstairs saying, "I tripped in the basement and hurt my leg, but I'm fine now."  OK, Scott, I didn't need to know that.  Or, "today, on the way to school, the bus went a different way."  Also, do not need to know.

For awhile I thought he felt he had to tell me things so that he wouldn't get in trouble for not saying something.  Better to err on the side of too much information.  Maybe that's part of it, but I think it is more about being so connected to him.  He knows I will listen, that I will care, and, well, who else will?  He doesn't have friends that he would share things with that he wouldn't tell me.  At least not yet.

Yesterday when I was helping Scott brush his teeth I noticed that he is getting freckles on his face.  Tiny, cute, little freckles.  They go with his huge teeth that keep distracting me every time I look at him.  How is it that he has those enormous teeth already?  The ones he will have for the rest of his life?  Anyway, I pointed out the freckles to him and to Matt.  While Matt and I think the freckles are adorable, Scott made it clear that he did not.

Tonight he told me he doesn't want the freckles, he wants his baby teeth back, he doesn't want to grow up.  Not unusual for a soon to be first grader, right?  But then, as I tucked him into bed, he did surprise me:

"Mommy, I am not really worried about first grade.  I know it doesn't matter about the napkin.  And, if I forget to tell you stuff, well that's OK, right?  I mean, you don't have to know everything, right?  And once I get to know the schedule and the rules and my teacher, I'm sure I'll like it."

"Well, yes, sweetie, that's very mature of you, I'm sure you will be fine.  It's always hard to start new things, but once you get over the first part, chances are it will be good."

"Mommy?  What's the bestest thing about your body as you get older?  Like, when you aren't a kid anymore.  Is it having big teeth?"

"Hmm, well you get smarter and you know more things, so maybe your mind.  Or just that you get stronger both in your physical self, like being able to lift things, and in your mental state, being able to handle life, understand things."

"Some adults aren't stronger.  You know, like, they can't even run.  And grandparents, they are even weaker.  And Grandpa, he's not smarter, he can't add numbers in his head like I can."

"Um, OK, I guess that's partly true.  Maybe I need to think about my answer a little more."

"Maybe you are just having an off night, mom.  Usually you are really good at this.  I love our time together when we get to talk like this."

"Me, too."

"Mommy?  When I get home from school can we talk about my day and talk like this for awhile?  Maybe Jane can watch tv, so we can have our time."

"Sounds like a good plan, buddy."

"That makes me a lot less worried about school."

"If we miss each other we can think about how we will have our time each day to talk."

"Good night, mom, I love you."

"Good night, Scott, I love you." 

I know it is good for him to realize he doesn't need to tell me everything, but for now, I hope he keeps telling me as much as he wants to.  I know I will look forward to our time together just as much as he will.

Comments

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

This comment came from my friend Dee via e-mail:

You just brought tears to my eyes. He is such a sensitive, sweet child.

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Laura - that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard! I forgot about his cafe au lait!

[Laura]

I said the same thing to myself b/f I logged on-what a SWEET, SWEET boy! That was so precious and Lori-you are an amazing mom! Loved this post so much too.

BTW, for the record, freckles are nothing, try stressing about the first day of first grade when your kid has cafe au lait plastered on his head...............Dallas survived and still to this day, when someone asks what's on his face he humbly responds: "It makes me special."

[slouching mom]

Oh, what a sweet guy, that Scott. He reminds me of Jack. Jack does that tell-more-than-necessary thing as well. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's not.

[Delilah]

Too cute! Best of luck to Scott!

[kristen]

I want to give that boy a hug! I love this post. What a sweet kid and a lucky mom. Good luck with the first week...