Wholesome, Just Like Milk

The lovely and VERY nice, Kristen from From Here To There And Back has given me the Nice Matters award.

 

This award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. Once you’ve been awarded please pass it on to 7 others who you feel are deserving of this award.

I have to admit that I am kind of chuckling about this award.  I love Kristen and am glad that she thought of me, but I am conflicted about being called nice.  First of all, the actual picture is completely not me.  It's all pink and flowers and fancy shoes.  Much too girly. 

As I commented in Slouching Mom's Nice Matters post, I used to be called nice when I was younger and I was offended.  I thought nice meant boring.  I was always trying, unsuccessfully, to shed my goody-goody, girl-next-door image.  Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of bad-girl moments, it's just that, underneath any pretending, that's really not me.  I'm the one that follows the rules and the one time I don't, I get caught.  And everyone says, "I thought she had a good head on her shoulders, you'd never expect this from her."

So I used to actually say, "I'm NOT nice" because I figured people who labeled me that simply didn't know me well enough to come up with something more specific to say.  Did you ever do the team-building thing (probably at camp or a sorority retreat) where you sit in a circle and write your name at the top of a piece of paper?  Then everyone passes their paper to their left and writes a positive comment about the person who's paper they now have.  When your paper gets back to you, it is full of all kinds of confidence boosting adjectives.  My paper always said "Super nice!!" 20 times.  Great.  It might as well have said "Super boring!!"

And, the truth is, I'm not really nice.  I'm not the friend who remembers birthdays, who always calls back, who chats amicably with store clerks, who makes presents for teachers, who does little thoughtful things for others.  I am more of the friend who is always apologizing for being such a shitty friend and talks too much about herself.  I might make you laugh and I might make you think, but I am probably not the person who brings you a meal or offers to watch your children when you're sick.

It's not that I'm mean.  Although, I've also been known to say things I shouldn't and make people uncomfortable.  I think it is better to be honest than to be nice and lie.  But, I don't actively try not to be nice.  At least not anymore.

I think I am pretty much as inconsistent here in the blogging world.  I am trying to keep up.  To comment and post and link and be a good bloggy friend.  I am enamored with some of the blogging friends I've made.  I want to be more like them.  I appreciate so much that they've been nice to me.

This award is supposed to be passed on to 7 (!) people.  Yeah, that's not going to happen, I barely know 7  bloggers. 

I would have given it to these people if they didn't already receive it:

Kristen at Fromheretothereandback because she is a real writer who started blogging when I did and is so much better at it than me, but keeps encouraging me anyway.

Kyra at This Mom because she wrote me the nicest e-mail when I talked about her in my post and she is also so encouraging (and talented).

Oh the Joys who I met briefly at BlogHer and has stated that the goal of her blog is to "Build Community" - which she is doing, but she's also hilarious.

Slouching Mom because she comments everywhere and always makes me feel good enough.  And she really is one of those people who remembers birthdays.

Her Bad Mother because, even though she is super popular, she returned my e-mails about BlogHer and encouraged me to go (I just wish I had had something intelligent to say to her there.  I was all "you're great" and nothing else, dork).  And she is serious about wanting the blogosphere to be inclusive and for us not to feel like it is high school revisited.

If my two friends who are about to start blogs (yes, I'm talking about you Laura, and you, Lori G.) were already blogging, I'd definitely give it to them.

OK, can I be original?

Julie from mothergoosemoose because she is cool and snarky and political and anti-religion and still super nice.  She helped me get to BlogHer too!

I Am Bossy because she is very nice, I met her at BlogHer, and, well, she lives near me and maybe she'd be nice enough to get together and give me some PhotoShop/Graphic Arts tips.

WhyMommy from Toddler Planet, of course, because she is not only nice but informative, but you all know that already.

The title of this post is dedicated to my partner in trying-not-to-be-nice when we were in high school (are you reading girlfriend?).  A younger and obviously way more bad than me boy, once told me I was "wholesome, just like milk" in our World Affairs class.  I felt like the biggest loser, although, looking back now, I think he had a crush on me and was maybe trying to corrupt me.

Comments

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Her Bad Mother sent me this comment via e-mail (typepad is NOT nice to her, apparently):

Once again, I'm finding it difficult to log-in to leave comments at your site, but I wanted to say THANKS - so much - for the nice award and the sweet, sweet comments about me. I was SO glad that you came to BlogHer. Maybe next year we'll get to talk more!

Her Bad Mother at http://www.badladies.blogspot.com/

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Thanks, everyone, for the nice comments. Glad to see that I am appreciated for being me, in whatever way that it is "nice".

[Barb Laurenson]

I'm finally catching up with Spinning Yellow! I love it so much. "Wholesome, just like milk," is one of those vivid high school memories. Lori, he definitely had a crush on you! I'm surprised that your team building experiences revealed you as "nice." Of course I love you, but "nice" is NOT the word that comes to mind when I think of you, and I don't mean that in a mean or negative way! You are too honest and straightforward to be "nice." I think you're spot-on about yourself that you're the friend that makes me laugh, makes me think (!!!) and talks alot about yourself (which I love, because people are too guarded).

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Oh, it WAS Barb. You, who ran away and we feared we'd never see you alive again, are not boring! Nor is Barb, but she's the one that was in class with me for the wholesome comment.
So glad I got you to sign in, anyway. And check back, girlfriend, b/c you've been my partner in crime for many, many things and I have a post planned about one of them (Dartmouth, circa 1993, lists of what we want to accomplish in life).

[Carol]

You finally got me to sign on just to see if it was me or Barb that was your partner in crime! Since Barb's not boring (and I am), it seems unlikely that it would be her.

[Julie]

Thank you! Like you, I used to be the "Super nice!!!" kind of girl (although I was never compared to milk - that's pretty original). I think my old self would have annoyed the hell out of my current self.

Truly honored, Lori. Thank you again.

[BOSSY]

Bossy got a Nice Award? She is so honored, even if her husband and kids are right now building their defense about how it isn't always true.

[Oh, The Joys]

Thank you so much Lori!

(Kyla at The Journey posted a button for this that is less girly!!)

[Laura]

Love it! I hate being referred to as "nice" too. But you are and I know I am too and you know what? Nice matters. Even if it is sometimes boring and blah, it's better than nasty. However, when I do start blogging, my name will not be so nice (tee-hee!).

[slouching mom]

Thank you for those, umm, nice words about me.

Like you, I have an ambivalent relationship with "nice."

Congrats. to you, or at least the part of you that doesn't mind being called nice! Well deserved!

[kristen]

Oh my god! Can you hear me laughing? I'm not a big fan of the word "nice" either, and you might have noticed I didn't display the girly girl pink image on my blog, but hid it away behind a link...(I am so not a pink girl)

But, you ARE nice and by that, I mean supportive and sincere and genuine and open and kind and real. Yes, real. As in you say what you mean and you share the good and the bad and that has to count for something.

So, go ahead and chuckle. I still say you are nice. (And I'm not a great friend either. I get very lost in my world and forget all sorts of important things about the people I love. It's so much easier to be a blog friend.)

[Delilah]

You ARE nice! And funny too and have a great laugh.

Thanks for thinking of me. I have 2 posts done! Now if only I could figure out all the techy stuff...