Big things have been happening around here. But before I can really get into that I need to back up to a few weeks ago. The weekend before BlogHer07 to be exact. It is then that summer turned a corner. In a good way.
Actually, I even need to start a few days before that, right around the half-way mark of summer. What really changed things first was that Scott started swimming again. I think that got the ball rolling because once summer was more fun and less work, once he stopped being so stressed, and I could relax, well, then, we all felt better.
That bit of progress led way to the weekend I was first speaking about. The one where, thanks to my wonderful husband, I had a vacation at home. Matt knew that I was busy trying to get ready for my trip and that I just felt so overwhelmed and he did something he actually likes to do. He spent a lot of time with the kids. Not even just our kids, but their cousins as well. He took them to the park. He bought them McDonald's and treats from the ice cream truck. He swam with them at the pool.
While I stayed home. By myself. In blissful solitude.
On Sunday, he said it was a perfect summer day. And that was before we went to bed (if you know what I mean). I felt a little slighted as I wasn't even with him, but then he clarified that he was mostly talking about the weather and not the actual way he spent his time. But, even though he enjoys hanging out with me, he loves having the time to spend with the kids, so it really was a lovely weekend for all of us.
Because I had some time to myself, I was reading blogs and updated my blog roll. So, if you want to check out some funny, insightful, poignant, hysterical, fabulous writing, then click the links on the right under Blogs I Read Regularly (Sort Of).
I hope you get a little time to enjoy doing what you like this summer, before it is over. It can really change your outlook.
On to the updates:
Scott is swimming!
Yep, you read that right, he's swimming like a little fish again. What happened? you might ask, especially after I wrote this post. Based on the comments that I received, I need to clarify some points. First of all, Scott used to swim last year, so it was hard to chalk the current situation up to him just not getting it yet. It wasn't so much about the motor planning or even the fear of the water. It was the fear of getting swimmer's ear and having to get drops put in his ears.
We even convinced him to try the drops again, thinking that if he realized that the drops weren't so bad, he'd get over his anxiety. Big mistake. If there was ever a question as to what Sensory Processing Disorder looks like in every day life, in its purest form, you should have seen that go down. He screamed like his ears were on fire. His whole body tensed up and his heart raced. He sobbed. He made us promise we'd never do it again. And, oh boy, I sure hope we don't have to. He (and I) might need to be sedated.
Anyway, another thing is that I couldn't just stop the swim lessons entirely because we didn't have anything else to do. The way the swim club works, you pay for the whole summer, the membership plus the daily 45 minute group lessons. It was too late to sign up for camp and besides, we couldn't afford to pay for something else. So persisting in just showing up was necessary.
And that's what paid off. Just when I was beginning to feel like the worst mom ever and wonder why I couldn't be like my parenting idol (you should read that post it is really great, oh and Scott wasn't so much saying he hated lessons, he really did want to swim, he just wasn't able to get over his fear), it worked. We stopped encouraging him to put his head under water, halted all incentives and bribes, and told him he just had to participate in the lessons. Do what he was told. The instructors went along with it and lo and behold, when he stopped being pressured, he got up the nerve and just did it. Within days he was swimming around under water again as proud and happy as can be. For Scott especially, the consistency and time to find his own way is key.
I have to learn this lesson over and over. To let the kids do things on their own time. That giving them a reward only works when they want to do the thing to begin with, otherwise it just creates an impossible situation where they feel they can't do it and will, therefore, never get the carrot at the end of the stick. Or does the "here's a sticker thing" work for other people? Maybe its just my kids. Or me. Or both.
I went to BlogHer!
Oh, yeah, you know I went, you just don't know anything about what happened while I was there except for this. Details are coming. I promised and have not delivered. No more promises. But I will post about it. I swear.
Our cleaning lady came!
Oh how I miss the cleaning lady. Matt may miss her even more than me. Don't get any ideas it's just that he likes a clean house. We splurged and, even though we can't afford it (and we had to pay her nearly double her usual 2x/month rate), she came and cleaned for hours for the first time in 6 months. When the whole house is clean at the same time it is a wonderful feeling. And it let us off the hook for awhile as far as scrubbing goes.
Scott wrote a letter to his teacher!
On Scott's last day of Kindergarten, his teacher sent home a letter saying to write to her and she would write back. Weeks have gone by with Scott making every excuse in the book, including "Kindergarten's over, she doesn't care about me anymore" (he's already done with her, I'm so sad). Recently, he received a letter from her and then he had to respond. It was like pulling teeth. Scott likes making up stories to write but does not like the actual pencil to paper. It's hard for him and I have not been good about making him practice. After lots of strife, the letter is adorable and the handwriting is decent. Good enough for first grade, I am sure.
I ran 7 miles!
Seems crazy considering where I started from, um, at no miles. I never thought I could do it. I am way over due for a post on running and the class I am more than half way through. But suffice to say that I am running further and faster. You can see what I am up to with the My Last Run item in my sidebar (top right above the ads).
Jane tinkled in the potty!
Only once so far. She also peed all over the floor a few times. She is super excited to show off her pretty princess underwear and get her jelly beans and gum. But she still doesn't want to be bothered by the whole thing, finding it inconvenient and frustrating. One day she held it from 9:30 am until 5:30 pm when, after several hours of sitting on the toilet and reading every book she has, she let loose 2 gallons worth of pent up pee on the floor. But there is hope and a bit of progress.
*This just in: while I was finishing this post my MIL said Jane peed in the toilet at Applebees. Yeah!
I have ads on my blog!
Have you noticed? I am now part of the BlogHer organization's Advertising Network. I get paid based on how many times the site is visited, so visit daily and tell your friends. There are links underneath to other BlogHer Ad sites (blogs similar to mine) that you might like. I don't like to sell very much and am somewhat conflicted about telling my friends to support me this way, but if I can make a few bucks then I can justify spending more time and effort on improving this blog. This was a topic of much discussion at the BlogHer conference so I think I will cover it more later. And the actual amount of money is very small, especially when you have very few readers!
I also signed up with Amazon Associates. So if you are going to buy something from Amazon, make sure to link through Spinning Yellow (left side bar, on the ad or any book titles). Thanks!
Scott went off the diving board!
Every year during summer swim lessons the instructors designate one day as diving day. The kids get to go off the diving boards into the deep pool. The regular pool starts at 2 feet deep and gradually goes up to 8 or 10. This is great for kids learning to swim and Scott got spoiled being used to always touching the bottom of the pool He never wanted to swim anywhere else. The rules at our swimming pool are that children are only allowed in the water as deep as up to their shoulders. Until they pass the deep water test and then can swim anywhere. So diving day is a big treat because the instructors help the kids by lowering them down, if necessary, and catching them in the water.
The first year, when Scott was 4, he didn't want to participate at all. Last year he conveniently missed diving day. This year he was a little nervous but excited. He slowly walked out to the end of the board while clutching one of the teacher's hands and then dropped off into the water. He swam quickly to the side with the help of a life guard. He looked at me with a huge grin and then did it 12 more times. He LOVED it. My anxious, cautious, off-balance kid.
We talked a lot beforehand about how sometimes you just have to try things. It might take courage but you won't know unless you do it. If you don't like it you can stop. He was so pleased he tried. And because he finally swam in the deep water he made this discovery, "You know mommy, if you keep moving your arms you stay up out of the water. You don't have to be able to touch." Yes, my brave boy, so glad you figured this out on your own.
Matt signed up to do the Lake Placid Ironman race in 2008!
After completing the race in 2006, Matt was so looking forward to doing it again this year. Unfortunately, circumstances didn't allow for us to go up there this year and he was afraid he wouldn't be able to sign up for next year. But he got in. This means lots of training again in the spring for him (and lots of time alone for me). But it is worth it. I now know that. Seeing him come across that finish line was truly amazing.
Jane swims too!
Because she is a big three year old and loves the water. And because mommy goes in the pool with her everyday even though I never thought I would (I don't really like to get wet). Embracing the summer indeed!
Scott's front teeth are coming in, quickly!
How did this happen so fast? It was just a few short months ago that I wrote about the space where his front teeth should be. I thought it would be like that for awhile. Or at least until Christmas so we could all tease him incessantly by singing, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth." The teeth look pretty good although I can't help but chuckle thinking about this post from Catherine Newman where she talks about Ben's horse teeth coming in and this one from Wiping Up Snot.
Matt & I celebrated our 7th anniversary!
Amazing. We even went out to dinner. To the same restaurant where, two years ago, we ate and drank so much I had a 3 day hangover (further aggravated by the sick feeling of how much money we spent). But we found our favorite wine there and always seem to sit at the same table. Our marriage feels like it has a real base now. It is nice. Is the seven year itch coming?
Scott's sunflower bloomed!
Oh the tried and true, a-seed-grows-into-a-flower analogy. I love it. And the actual seed that Scott planted in school (without knowing what kind of flower it would become), well before summer began, is now a beautiful sunflower. A tall, slightly wobbly, skinny sunflower. One that almost didn't make it because Scott broke it in two when he threw a ball on the deck. One that had to be replanted twice because it has grown so quickly. One that Matt had to rescue from a storm and put upright again.
With subdued yellow petals it faces toward the sun, standing firm against the wind, stretching and growing every day. It is the perfect symbol for our summer and for the boy who planted it.
**You deserve more than the pretty picture for staying with this post until the end! Thanks!
Hey thanks for the comments!
Kristen - I was feeling pretty good until our trip to the OT today which I commented about on your brushing post.
Lori G. - well at least the girls are at the same point and we had more peeing on the floor, demanding of a diaper and another success in the potty! Inconsistent, to say the least.
Laura - I am tempted to use the sunflower over and over - it is so perfect!
SM - thank you and I wondered about the sensory issues with your son, he often sounds similar to Scott!
Posted by: Lori at Spinning Yellow | August 14, 2007 at 11:06 PM
Let's see. First off, I love love love the title of this post.
Second, I am so impressed. What a wonderful summer it sounds like it's been -- for everyone. Nothing better.
The sensory issues I am oh so familiar with -- my older son has many of them, and they are directly responsible for his lifelong picky eating. They're a bear, aren't they?
Posted by: slouching mom | August 14, 2007 at 01:55 PM
Great news on your summer! I love it that the sunflower is yellow and such a survivor-much like Scott!
Posted by: Laura | August 14, 2007 at 10:57 AM
So glad to read all of your good news! Our potty training is going pretty much the same. A few exciting moments here and there...then buckets of pee on the floor.
Posted by: Delilah | August 14, 2007 at 10:46 AM
Wow. Lots of good news in this post. Happy anniversary! Happy swimming, diving, running and yes, even tinkling...
Posted by: kristen | August 13, 2007 at 03:54 PM