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July 06, 2007



My daughter and I just fiiehsnd watching you guys on extreme makeover. We just wanted to let you know it is great to to see that your business is still going strong! You deserve it and good luck in the future.Mike Davis


I agree that for safety reasons he needs to learn to swim at some point. However, if it is not this summer, it is not the end of the world. Just like when they are babies and toddlers, they learn different things at their own pace. Maybe later this summer or next year it will be a completely different story. I would lay off the lessons and just spend time with him in the water and take it from there. You are picking up on his signals that it is too stressful for him. Like everyone else said, don't blame yourself. You can't force it, no matter how hard you try. Ian has some anxiety issues and it always ends up that things get better once he is more comfortable, and I can't do anything speed it up, it just has to happen on its own.

Lori at Spinning Yellow

Thanks for your input, everyone. Yeah, I think we have to lay off on the swimming, too much right now. I will be talking with the manager tomorrow. I finally saw the connection I was trying to make when Matt came back from swimming yesterday. The times when we get into problems are when we keep trying to bribe/give incentives. The kids just don't respond to it and smell our desperation a mile away. So, when we start doing it, we need to back up and just leave them alone. It is hard, but I will try to ease up. I guess in the grand scheme of things, Scott's self-esteem and well-being are more important than learning to swim. Thanks again. Your comments really helped me get a grip!

And Laura, oh the chewing, it makes me feel that I am not doing the right OT activities. I get caught up in whether the SPD is causing the chewing and subsequent anxiety or whether the anxiety is causing the chewing. Scott has a whole set of clothes that are ruined from him chewing on them!

Lori at Spinning Yellow

Here's Laura's comment:

I believe Kathy took the words right out of my mouth! Don't beat yourself up-everyone has problems and nobody's kid is better adjusted than your kids. I can so relate to chewing his shirt-Dallas did that and still does on occassion. He was so stressed out over Kindergarten that he chewed the leather interior on the door of my SUV-I see many similarities w/Scott and Dallas. You and Matt are great parents!


I agree with KathyS - swimming is not easy and maybe it's just overload for Scott right now. Water can be scary and while I agree that everyone should learn to swim, you may just need to let Scott learn on his schedule. And, maybe he'll learn more with you and Matt than in a lesson with other kids. You don't want him to hate the water, so maybe backing off here is the right thing to do?


Swimming is doing so many things at once. There are arms and legs and breathing and keeping your eyes open and the funny sound water makes when it gets in your ears. And then there's the bouyancy, the feeling of weightlessness, or sinking under - the feeling of a lack of control. Swimming is learning to move in an environment that is unfamiliar. Scott may just take longer than other kids (kids not subject to the difficulties associated with SPD)to put it together. You've been so patient and caring, you and Matt. Don't berate yourself or question your parenting abilities because of Scott's swimming issues ... or Jane's potty aversion.

I'm not going to say "things will work out," or "it's just a matter of time." You and Matt are very special people, completely dedicated to each other and the children. So, dear Lori, be gentle with yourself. Try to focus on all the good things you and Matthew do each day for Scott and Jane. The list is a long and loving one.

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