This summer has just been crazy. I've already blogged about it to some extent, but the bottom line is that things just don't seem to be leveling out in any way. The ups and downs are so dramatic. I am not a fan of so much upheaval and it is truly making me sick to my stomach.
Today was no different in the amount of highs and lows. It's one uncontrollable ride day after day. Instead of trying to get to the bottom of it by analyzing as I usually do, I am simply going to give the positive/negative aspects of this day as a snap shot of every day lately at chez moi.
Down - Last night was a nightmare. Matt, attempting to be the fun dad, put up a small tent in Jane's room. Jane wanted to sleep in the tent (no problem) which involved moving every item in her room into the tent (big problem) at 9pm. By the time she had set up camp with all her stuffed animals, baskets, jewelry, books, blankets and such she was so overtired we could barely understand her mutterings. She crashed and then woke up at 2am coughing and crying. Matt gave her a nebulizer and then suggested that she come sleep with us. What?! As I have stated before, I am firmly against having children in our bed.
To keep the peace, I agreed. Only to wake up (did I sleep?) a few hours later with my back hurting and Jane flinging her arms over my head. I lost it and started yammering on about being pissed off and not wanting kids in my bed and now my back was ruined and I wouldn't even be able to run and we will be paying for this because she will want to sleep here every night, everybody has their own bed in this house, blah, blah, blah. All while carrying her into her room and trying to put her in her designated bed. She was not happy but agreed to go back to sleep if I moved all her things from the tent back onto her bed. What fun.
Up - I was exhausted but awake and pretty much decided to move on. I was able to get out at 7am and go for my longest run yet. Five miles. It was hard and long, but I felt great afterward. Each time I run I build speed and get stronger.
Up - Scott wipes himself after going to the bathroom because I was busy and he got sick of waiting for me. Yeah, he can do it, he just chooses not to.
Down - Once again I couldn't seem to get out of the house early enough to make it to swim class. I hate being late and I am late all the time. I usually blame this on Scott even though it is not his fault. What a lovely mom I am.
Up - Jane happily played and swam at the baby pool which meant I didn't have to get in (I do in the deeper pool). She alligator crawled and scooped up pennies from the bottom of the pool. She even put her face in the water some.
Up, Way Up - Scott was beaming from ear to ear after class and announced that he put his face in the water. His instructors said he did great today, really tried everything, big improvement. I felt vindicated for making him stick it out mostly because he was so pleased with himself. He couldn't wait to call Daddy and tell him. I felt like a good parent saying, "How do you feel? Proud? You should feel proud of yourself. What an accomplishment!" Instead of what I could have said like, "I knew you could do it, what took you so long!"
Up - Even though we had little time to spare we were able to get home, change, grab our stuff and go get my mom with minimal problems.
Down - We got a little lost and took too much time driving to our destination. This left us without enough time to have our lunch in a relaxed way before the show.
Up - Did I mentioned that my 12 year old nephew performs in a children's summer theater program? Can't remember if I have. We went to see him in the second show of the summer. The first one was Willy Wonka and this was Rumpelstiltskin. Both fabulous. And Scott and Jane were very well behaved. They loved it.
Down, Way Down - On the ride home I felt happy and competent. The day seemed to be going so well. I figured the kids would rest and I could drive home in relative peace. No such luck. Scott grabbed toys from Jane. Jane whined and cried. I screamed and yelled. So stressful. I have so fallen off the wagon.
Up - Children played at home while I did chores and checked e-mail. Kids were occupied outside and I didn't have to be involved.
Up - After Scott asked for gum, Jane followed suit. I reminded her that she can have the special strawberry gum after she uses the potty. "OK, I want to try now!" I was shocked, but felt it was at least positive. She hasn't agreed to sit on the toilet for months.
Down - Nothing happened and she was sad. She kept trying but didn't need to go. Does she feel like more of a failure? Will she try again tomorrow or is she too upset?
Up - Discover there's a new restaurant in town. We can get take out and I don't have to cook or clean up.
Up and Down - My other nephew (10) and my niece (5) come over to play after dinner. Good for occupying kids, but Scott gets wound up and ends up doing some tackling and pushing that gets him in trouble.
Down - It is now so late that there is no time for stories for either kid. I feel defeated that I never seem to be able to spend the time with them that I wish I could. Why didn't I play with them more? Why can't I get to Scott's summer list of things to do? And if I can't accomplish something then why can't I just accept that and be happy with the not doing, summer, laid-back world?
Up - Even though it is super late, I am actually posting today.
The ride is over for today. Ready for another go around tomorrow? I'm in whether I like it or not.
Hey Slouching Mom -
Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Structure is good for us, too. Scott feels better about himself when the expectations are clear. He may complain about school but it's the best thing for him. Next year, I'm sending him to camp, even if it means I need to get a job!!
Posted by: Lori at Spinning Yellow | July 22, 2007 at 09:31 AM
I understand this post all too well. I am already looking forward to the start of school in the fall. And, frankly, I don't think I'm the only one; it's possible my older son is, also. He does much, much better with structure built into his day. In the summer, he's all over the place.
It's tiring for him and the rest of us, too.
Posted by: slouching mom | July 21, 2007 at 04:59 PM