I Blog, Therefore I Am

I have a story to tell.  It is why I started blogging a few months ago.  The story is mostly written.  I have four posts that are nearly complete chronicling the ordeal we went through.  I have not published it yet.  I have been busy writing other things.  And living my life. 

I know I will get to it because it is important to share.  But a surprising thing has happened since I started a blog.  I am writing more about my life now than what has already transpired.  I am learning about who I am as much as I am sharing what I've learned.

I have awakened in myself a side I had kind of forgotten about in the midst of all the family and child-raising overload.  It is the idealistic, youthful, part of me that wants to save the world.  The one that used to lament, but I want to have a cause, when I was a young adult.  The teenager who just knew that I was meant to somehow, some way make a difference. 

Having children made me feel this in a personal way.  That I was creating life and could impact a person so completely.  My life would be carried on through another human being.  But blogging has made me feel it outside of my immediate family once again.  And I realized I missed it.

So I am happy to say that blogging has made me feel inspired to do new things.  Take chances like running a race and writing to the New York Times.  I think I knew that would be the case, because trying one hard thing begets trying more.  One step leads to another.

I am pleased, though, that I am enjoying it so much.  That it feels much more like an artistic endeavor than a chore.  It reminds me of drawing or even doing a puzzle, things that I have trouble pulling myself away from.  I feel driven to write as therapy and for pure enjoyment.  Not just to share my story to help others, but to share myself.

The dialog that has been going on inside my head has now been made public.  I am putting myself out there for everyone to see.  Complete strangers, if they want.  But mostly a few friends and relatives that I feel comfortable sharing this blog with.  I am feeling more confident.  I am posting comments on other people's blogs and getting messages back.  I feel the power of community.  The sense of enlarging my circle of influence and of being influenced.  Reading what others are posting and wanting to add my perspective to their conversation.

I am not a writer.  I was a business major.  I knew that to tell the story I wouldn't be able to do it by writing a book or an article in a magazine.  I have no experience or qualifications for that.  Having a blog has given me the opportunity that I would not otherwise have had.  People can find me and what I have to say, if they want.

Blogging has given me credibility.  A place to record and share my thoughts.  For understanding, validation, compassion and community.  I am compelled to do this.  To make a difference, contribute, keep seeking answers and live fully.  I am empowered.  My voice is now heard.  I will tell my story.  It is larger than I had originally thought.  Blogging has shown me that.  It has changed my life already.  And I know it is just the beginning.

This post was written for submission in the mommyblogstoronto and Her Bad Mother win a trip to BlogHer2007 contest.  The writing topic was "(how) does blogging empower women?" 

Comments

[ABD]

Mr. Schweitzer,I respect your poiitson, and I even agree with it to a point. Let me further point out that I respect your expertise and the fact that you have written three security books. I feel that this has taken a turn for the worst, and I feel that was partially my fault for referencing it in that CW post. I am sorry that it has happened.As far as the post, I felt that it was appropriate since I was talking about semantics, and I even made a point to make sure you knew that I was not bringing up our issue again. I was prompted by a totally different post and issue.In that light, I ask that you NEVER presume to tell me what I can and cannot post on my blog or state as an opinion. You may not like what I post, and you can post your comments about it. But when you start telling me that I need to grow up and show restraint when you can't even understand that the context of the article was not about you, then it is you that needs to grow up and stop thinking the whole world revolves around you.Michael

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Laura - Can't wait to get you started. I am looking forward to reading your blog, you crack me up so I know it will be good!

Dee - I totally agree. I'm glad that blogging is empowering me with a means for talking and learning!

[Dee]

Personal growth is always beneficial, and manifests itself in many ways, as you are finding out.

[Laura]

Lori-
You are doing a great thing by blogging and you are inspiring me to do so. I just need you to come over and help me get started-I have so much to say and so many stories to tell. Plus, I am sure it is the best therapy! I love reading your blog!!