Spinning Yellow

April Showers

When it rains it pours.  Or perhaps I bring it all on myself.  Whatever.

It is the last day of April.  Scott's birthday.  Saturday was Jane's birthday.  Sunday I ran a half marathon.  13.1 miles.  I am hosting two birthday parties on Friday.  One for Jane's friend's from 1 -3 pm.  High School Musical.  And another for Scott's friend's from 4:30 - 6:30 pm.  Sports in the backyard.  I am totally exhausted and frazzled and have a billion things to do and write about. 

My hell month is nearly over.  And yet I have a jammed packed weekend and a ton to do next week as well. 

But I will be back to blogging regularly soon because I miss it too much to give up.  And I miss being able to read and comment.

And I signed up to do the Marine Corp Marathon in DC in October.

Because I have lost my mind.

(but it is all good, really, very good indeed, and the May flowers are coming, all is well)

Ten Before 10

Ten separate posts I should write:

1.  This blog, Spinning Yellow, is now officially one year old.  I wrote my first post on March 25th, 2007.  Yes, it has changed my life. 

2.  I've watched Autism: The Musical twice with tears streaming down my face.  I feel completely attached to all the people in the movie, kids and parents.  I can't stop thinking about it.

3.   I get e-mails from Runner's World with helpful links.  Today's was titled: Easter Candy = Crack.  I am so there.  In fact, I am right now going to throw the rest of it out.  Chocolate is my biggest weakness, hands down.  Also, there was a tid bit about people gaining weight while training for a marathon.  wtf?  How is this possible?  Well, they explain it, but I don't even want to know because that is just too depressing.  There is no way that running your ass off shouldn't correlate to literally running your ass off.

4.  Speaking of which, I ran 10 miles last weekend.  And Matt says that if I did 10, I can do 13.  I wish I believed him. 

5.  Scott is having an anxiety attack that started with his bus breaking down and is now spiraling into him not being able to sleep and following me around the house.  He is chewing his sleeve and hmmm- ing and jumping at every sound.  I am trying to be understanding without making too much of it.  Sure, you can wish me luck with that.

6.  I am in charge of our family NCAA basketball pool, as always.  A fun tradition that Scott is way too caught up in. 

7.  I failed to attend Oprah's on-line class for her book group selection, A New Earth, for the 4th week in a row.  I love Oprah and totally dig the premise of this book, but cannot, for the life of me, understand how millions of people are actually reading it.  Have you tried to read this?  Either I'm not as smart as I thought I was or a lot of people are lying.

8.  It is almost April.  Taxes and birthdays and yard work, oh my!

9.  This time last year, Jane broke her arm, I started this blog and I started running.  Scott finished up his listening program and cut back on his OT.  It seems like more than a year has passed because so much has happened.

10.  I desperately want to go to BlogHer08 in San Francisco in July, but cannot figure out how to justify the cost. 

10 pm - I made it on time.

'night.

Runner's High

My friend (hi tac!) called this morning to quickly catch-up on her way to work.  She wanted to tell me that she had just read my last few posts and although she had things to say about them, she was most impressed with my sidebar item that showed I had run over 8 miles.

Oh, yeah, that, I thought.  After we got off the phone and I was getting ready to go for my scheduled run I realized how fast the voice inside my head put myself down.  That was 2 weeks ago and it was sooo hard.  I was unbearably slow.  Running is still so difficult.  Why am I not getting better at it? 

When I wrote my New Year's post about wanting to stop thinking about all that I wasn't doing, I really meant it.  I find this to be exceedingly difficult.  I tend to look at what I haven't done.  What I could be doing, but aren't.  All my failings.  While it might have seemed like I was trying to let myself off the hook, what I was really doing was attempting to quit whining and focusing on the negative.  I have written so much on this blog about what I should or need to be doing, I was boring and annoying myself.  Why must I be this way?

So, as I laced up my shoes and thought about where I was going to run, I tried to pump myself up.  OK, yes, it has been hard.  But she's right.  I did run 8 miles.  In a row.  No stopping.  Last year at this time I couldn't even run a mile.

I was going to run 4 miles even though my training schedule called for 6, but then I decided that it wasn't as cold as I had thought and since I had the opportunity to get the 6 miles done, I would go for it.  I put on my fast Nike Running mix music and headed out on my 6 mile run route.  I jog about a block, stretch a bit, and then head toward the park.  The park is about 2 miles away and has a mile and a half mile loop that I can go around.  This past weekend Matt joined me for my 6 mile taper off (also known as a recovery) week.  I was sick on Saturday and took it easy during the run, afraid to push myself, only tackling the big hill once.

But today I was fired up.  I ran fast.  And did the hill twice.  I thought about what I've already accomplished.  How hard running can still be.  About the days when I feel like I am slogging through jell-o or my shins feel like they will break in half like toothpicks on each impact.  How I now know about aching calves and sore knees.  About my bra chafing incident that left me with a bloody rash around my midriff.

On my way home I passed an older man who I have seen before.  He usually waves a little hello.  I took my ear bud off and said, "You always see me on my way back when I am dying!"  He shook his fist in the air and said, "Keep going, you're almost there!"

I decided to run even faster for that last quarter mile home, spurred on by his cheer.  I made it to my corner with a big smile and checked my iPod.  The moment of truth:   One hour, two minutes, 6.28 miles, 9:56 per mile, the voice read me my stats.  Six miles at less than ten minute miles!  A new record for me!

After I cooled off a little, stretched and had a drink, I went upstairs to take a shower.  I glanced at the scale, questioning whether I should look for another victory.  I am not running to lose weight or even to get in shape particularly, even though both would be added bonuses.  My primary goal with the running is to push myself to do something I never dreamed that I could.  I have been fit before from strength training and walking.  The numbers on the scale have fluctuated for years, even before having kids and it has never been something I get too worked up about.

I know that muscle weighs more than fat and when you exercise, the scale doesn't always reflect your progress accurately.  Still.  I had promised myself I'd only weigh in on the first of the month so that I would only see success.  The number on the scale was exactly the same on February first as it was on January first.  How could that be?  I was running regularly.  Burning a lot of calories.  But the scale hadn't budged.

Today I decided to break my pact and step on that damn thing.  Three pounds lighter!  Maybe it was all sweat and water lost.  I don't care.  I feel triumphant anyway.

Usually I think that running is kicking my ass.  Today I think I gave it a little run for it's money.  I will be running 8 miles this weekend to start a ramp up/build phase again.  I know it will continue to be difficult with good days and not-so-good.  But I will remember today, when suddenly running 6 miles seemed like no big deal.  When I thought about what I had already done instead of what I hadn't.  And how that made all the difference.

Triple Run Around Day

Scott has been sick.  It is the same thing that everyone seems to be having.  A cold.  A nagging cough.  Maybe it turns into croup or an ear infection or a sinus infection.  Or all of those things, which is the case for Scott.   Or a full-blown throwing up flu, like Matt had.  Then it just goes back to the cough that will never go away.

This is an unusual thing for the healthy boy.  He almost never gets sick.  Jane doesn't get sick much either, even though she has asthma.  We don't do a lot of doctor visits or antibiotics.

So, as I am sure you can imagine, when Scott is sick he has a difficult time with it.  I remember the first time he got sick, it was around this time of the year when he was not quite 2.  It was when he finally watched an entire 25 minute TV program.  Blues Clues.  He called it "Boo's coos" which sounded a lot like "Booze Cruise".  Friends called and sympathized, "Taking care of sick kids is the worst.  They are so miserable."  Funny, I didn't feel that way.  I was actually enjoying this reprieve from his constant activity.  He was sitting still!  Watching the TV for more than a few minutes!  I took a shower!

It is hard to remember those days now.  Scott seems so mature lately.  He is doing so well.  In school and with basketball.  And even at home, getting along with his sister and helping out.

But the sickness thing is slowing him down.  Last weekend he complained that his ear hurt and I promptly hauled him, kicking and screaming, to the doctor.  Then he decided to stay home and miss his basketball game because he felt so tired and his chest hurt.  He has been quiet this week.  Afraid that he will feel lousy.  "When will I ever be better?" he keeps asking.

Last night he coughed so much that he woke up and I had to give him medicine a 2:30am.  This morning though, he perked up a bit.  A big smile crossed his face as he looked at the clothes I had laid out for him, sweat pants and a t-shirt for gym class.

"Today is Triple Run Around Day!" 

"Huh?  Are you doing something special in gym?"

"No.  It's just that I have gym and recess and basketball practice.  All on the same day."

A trifecta of activity.  I think he might be finally feeling like himself again.

** I, on the other hand, was dreading my scheduled 6 mile run, but I did do it.  I thought about how much he likes to run while I toiled away, willing myself to take each step.  I still don't feel like I am myself.  I am going to jump back on the blogging train and attempt to write my way out of my funk.  Because you never know what tomorrow might hold with a boy who is off and running again and the possibility of something as exciting as Triple Run Around Day.

Thanks to everyone who has been wondering where I've been.  It is nice to feel missed and I am sorry for being out of touch.  I will be posting updates on all sorts of things.  I hope we are still friends.  'kay?

Once a Runner

Do you see that sign in the top right corner?  Look over.  The one that says "My Last Run".  It changed!  For the first time in two full months!  It has been mocking me, daily.  Chiding me.  Your blog has a subtitle with "running" in it, but you haven't been running, it would say.  Yeah, I know.  Remember when I started running?  When I read the article about 101 ways to get motivated and the number one way was to start a blog?  Well, they were right about that.  I have felt the pressure.

So, on this day, after eating too much yesterday, I decided to get back out there.  It wasn't pretty.  I went slowly and I walked off and on.  I didn't want to get too sore or overdo it.  I know it will take a little time to get back into decent form.   

When I ran the 10K race, I was already a little bit pregnant and tired.  Afterward, it was easy to convince myself that I was too exhausted, among other things, to run.  But I got kind of itchy after a month or so.  I was anxious to start up again.  Then I felt so crappy that I couldn't muster up the energy.

But today seemed like a good day to hit the pavement.  It felt good to be outside.  To put my iPod on.  To breath a little heavy.  To clear my head.  To feel my legs working.  I felt kind of unsteady and sluggish and my thighs were all jiggly.  But.  It is always hard to get started, at least for me.

I realized today that this is something I will always go back to.  I can't imagine just walking, until I am too old to do otherwise.  Even though I hardly went but two miles, I felt every bit a runner.

I have my eyes set on a half marathon in May.  Anyone care to join me?

Lest You Think I Forgot to Post Anything

I haven't.  And, it isn't that I don't have anything to write about.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  The posts are piling up inside my head constantly.  About Scott and school; about women learning their own potential; Jane starting school; my responses to things I've read on autism, breastfeeding, and so much more; intensity; Scott and soccer; missing puzzle pieces; Jane's cute antics; talks with friends; running; finding purpose and meaning in life; blogging; and on and on.  That internal blogalogue never stops.  It keeps me up at night and calls to me.  Telling me I will forget this great idea.  Luring me to leave my other tasks to write and edit.

But.  One of my problems with blogging is the "can't keep a secret" issue I have.  When I was in grade school I once spilled the beans to a friend that her parents were having a surprise party for her.  I avoid people when I am trying to hide something because I am so afraid of being the spoiler.  I've done this when I've known about parties and also when I've had news to share.

Like when I've been pregnant.

No, I do not have any confirmation on that.  But, I feel like I wrote this last post and put it out there and then I couldn't take it back.  What was I thinking?

So, I've been laying low.  Well, also there have been a few other things going on.

Today I ran a 10K (6.2 mile) race.

I've been attending running class since I started the Learn to Run program back in March.  I ran the 5K and was happy that I did it, that I could legitimately call myself a runner.  And I decided to take the next step and train for the 10K.  I haven't written anything about the class.  Once again, not for lack of great stories and insights, but just because I can't find the time to write enough.

Oh, and I think I was afraid to put myself out there.  The pressure of it.  What if I decided that I didn't want to do it anymore?  Or I just wanted to keep it under the radar.  Not have people asking me and commenting and wishing me luck.  I didn't want to disappoint anyone, especially myself.

But it went well.  Despite the fact that I didn't stick with the program at the end and really slacked off.  Even though I was oh so tired.  And I am thrilled that I did it.  In a little over an hour.  Respectable.  It felt much better than the 5K.  And once again, I could go on and on, but am lacking the time and energy.

The first week of school, I was sick.  The second week, I had 2 Back to School Nights and a separate orientation for Jane.  Then while I was trying to get organized last week, I had the practice run for the race, card night and book group (where I once again didn't read the book). 

I hate, hate, hate feeling overwhelmed.  I have closets to sort, bills to organize, clothes to swap out, an office to straighten up, cleaning to do, birthdays coming up.  My father had an operation and my mother has been busy driving him around, oh and she passed out in the hospital with him because she is so stressed out and their friend died, who just so happens to have lived across the street from me.  I need to do something for these people and catch up on all the blogs.  And there is so much writing to do it is filling me up inside and I think I might burst.

For now, I will get some sleep (did I mention I am unusually tired?) and try to start my week by waking  up early and getting some things done.  Maybe I'll even post something worthwhile.

At least I can rest easily now that the race is over and I don't have to feel guilty about hiding that anymore.

I am surprised I was able to keep my mouth shut about it given my track record.

Being Away

Every time I call home, Jane starts crying.  I am happy that I was not available to say good night today because I couldn't bear to hear her scream again.  Scott has been fine, although he did make me promise before I left that nothing would happen to him while I was gone.  I normally do not like to lie or promise things I can't control, but in this case, it seemed like the right thing to do to reassure him.  Jane also told me in a sad little voice "don't leave me" yesterday morning.  This after she had said at dinner, in response to me stating that no one at the conference was going to want to hang out with me, "I'll hang out with you, Mommy."

Feeling guilty, anyone?

Even though this makes me sad momentarily, it does not make me feel that this trip shouldn't have happened.  I am quite happy to be here.  This first day has been amazing.  I've listened in on some terrific discussions and met fabulous bloggers.  Some people I did not know before and some that I have been admiring and was hoping to meet.

It was loud in the hotel last night.  People partying, kids crying, sirens outside.  I remember now that this is one of the things I dislike about traveling.  Being here in Chicago really brings back memories of my former single, professional life.  I used to come to Chicago a lot for business because the large consulting firm I worked for was headquartered here and we had to attend training sessions at their compound.  I even visited friends here and was surprised to recognize the restaurant across the street from the hotel where I became a coffee drinker back in 1993.

This morning I got up early, went to Starbucks, and then went running along the lake.  There were so many people out exercising.  I felt great afterwards.  Four miles.  It was very calming to get that run in while everything else is so different.  The consistency of hearing myself breath and the feeling of my feet hitting the pavement was grounding.

I forgot how nice everyone is here.  It is obvious that this is not the East Coast.  And I also forgot what a great city this is.  I do love sight seeing and being in a city.  I enjoy the pulse of an urban community.  The access to everything.  I still do not know why, but there was a smell in the air this morning of brownies baking.  It was heavenly and so unexpected.  It reminded me of the way it smelled in Hackettstown, NJ where I worked at the M&M plant.

Traveling now seems so different than when I was in the thick of it.  With my laptop, cell phone, iPod, and WiFi, I am easy to reach and can stay connected.  The technology is incredible.

There is a lot to say about this conference and what I have learned and experienced so far.  Tomorrow is another jam-packed day.  I feel invigorated to blog more and to focus on certain things. As I discuss this blog and my original intentions I realize how much I have to offer.  People are interested.

Now I need some sleep.  More tomorrow.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Is there room for two athletes in the family?  Because I just ran my first race! 

Actually, I am totally kidding.  I still would not consider myself an athlete in any way, but I did run the race.  I didn't exactly kick ass, but since I couldn't even run a mile a few short months ago, I did OK.  It was somewhat anti-climatic.  I'm not trying to shortchange myself, but there was a lot of build up to this race.  And I guess that is one of the reasons why I have always, in the past, played down this sort of thing.  When your expectations are low, it is hard to be disappointed.

I was a little nervous this morning, fretting about getting there on time and what to eat.  As we were pulling out of the neighborhood, Matt asked if I wanted any pointers.  Sure, I said and then realized that I had walked out with my Crocs on (I am a Croc Lover, by the way) and left my sneakers by the garage door.  Good start.  First pointer, wear your sneakers.  Hah hah. 

Once we got there and I did the pinning on of my number, I felt a little more anxious.  Not a lot.  I don't like waiting and will often volunteer to go first in order to get something over with.  I just wanted to get going.  It was odd being the racer and not the spectator.  When Matt and the kids starting eating the muffins we had picked up, I was torn between feeling jealous and feeling important (I can't eat the muffins, I am The Racer).  I don't really like people watching me, either.  I don't like going to a gym for that reason.  I would much rather do my own thing, without an audience.  After the race, Matt said he didn't realize how much work went into being the spectator and watching the kids.  It was good that he saw how difficult it can be to cart the kids around.  Imagine doing that for an Ironman Race.

Once we got started, I was surprised at how hard it seemed.  I knew I could run a 5K distance, but it felt more difficult.   I guess it was the race factor.  That there were all those people doing it, too.  And that I was unfamiliar with the course.  I had no idea how fast I was going.  When we got to the first mile marker I thought, finally, it seemed like forever.  The running class instructors kept pace with their students.  Which numbered only a few.  The handful of the more than 30 or so people who had started the class.  This I feel proud of.  At least I saw it through to the end.

So I ended up running the race, mostly, with the one instructor.  This was very helpful.  According to my NikeiPod, I ran a 9:30 average mile, pretty steady, ending the race in about 31 minutes.  I wanted to do it in under 30 minutes.  I felt fine as far as my legs were concerned.  But, I have to admit, I did feel a little sick to my stomach.  Maybe it was nerves, or the heat, or not eating the right thing.  It is also the time of the month when I get migraines.  Not so good timing.

Not trying to make excuses, because, as I said, I did fine.  It just wasn't like it was the greatest feeling when I finished.  It just was what it was.  So now the question is, do I go on?  Do I take the next class, a level up, to complete a 10K?  I do have in the back of my mind, and I know if I say it here it goes down on my permanent record, that I would like to run a marathon.  A completely crazy idea for sure, since I feel that I barely completely a 5K.  But hey, all ideas start somewhere.

So, anybody in?  Maybe a fall 2008 marathon girls?  We could train in our own locations and then meet up somewhere for a race.  The Philly Marathon in November, or maybe the Marine Corp in DC in October.  Who wants to make the commitment with me and see if we can reach it.  We could do check-ins here.  I need motivation girls.  I am 39 today.  One more year until 40.  I am happy about that.  I think the best years of my life are still ahead of me.

Show me some love.  It is my birthday, after all.

What I Thought About on My Run This Morning

OK, I'm out here, it's a good day to run, overcast, not so GD hot like Friday, OK, I'm going to do 9 minutes running, 1 minute walking, 3 iterations, set up the NikeiPod and the stop watch, walking up the hill, a little stretching, get moving, I wonder if Matt is going to get the kids breakfast or if I have to make it when I get back, I am so looking forward to eating the sour cream raspberry muffin my in-laws brought me back from Perkins yesterday, damn, should have thought of that earlier, now how am I going to eat it without the kids wanting some and Matt giving me dirty looks, I am a little hungry, what should we have for dinner, at least I don't have to go to the grocery store, did that yesterday, I need to eat better, if anyone wants more reasons to get fit they should read that Parade Magazine article, have to link to that somewhere, well, my gyno and my GP both are happy I am running, they think it is great, much more of a workout than walking, I have to get that blood work done, when can I get up and go without coffee, hate that fasting thing, need to get the mammogram too, so much to do, last week of school, maybe Scott will settle down after this week and Jane, too, poor Matt, he had to sleep on the floor in her room again, not getting enough sleep, that's what's making me crabby, I have to write a letter to Scott's teacher thanking her for all she's done, my shin hurts, I should probably read that stupid book for book group tomorrow, I just can't, its unreadable, no time, stop thinking, take in the morning, so glad to be out here watching the bunnies hop across the lawns, this is so much better than going to church, breath in, out, there's another runner, smile, wave, part of the club, I hope I don't look stupid in my out-of-date running clothes, need to order some clothes today so I will get them in time for the race, I am so That Mom it is pathetic, right down to my skirted swimsuit, I didn't own any of those when I went on my honeymoon, so long ago, I have had kids for nearly as long as the Sopranos have been on, last episode tonight, wonder how it will all go down, I'll miss it, so good this last season, I should have said in my post that I don't waste time shopping for clothes or watching reality TV, I wonder who won that contest anyway, if I didn't win I need to enter the AskPatty one or the MBT one, so many posts to write, if that babysitter doesn't show again tomorrow, I am going to lose my mind, I need to finish my letter to the NYT, I should e-mail Scott's OTs about that and tell them about the blog, why haven't I done that, why haven't I told the book group people either, I need to be more confident, I have to get those lists right and work on my sidebars, well, at least I helped inspire Kim to start a blog, need to finish my half written posts, have bills to pay, those damn thank-yous, and baby gifts and birthday gifts, so overwhelmed, just figured out why tac hasn't comment about my clever inclusion of the Judybats, need to weave in EBTG next, she's in Chicago, have to make my flight and hotel reservations for BlogHer2007 TODAY, so much else to do, why am I such a loser, can't get it together, wait I'm almost done here, on my last iteration, go a little faster, I am so ready for this race, I feel great, I ran with the fast group last week, I did an 8:30 mile last time, I can't wait to write my birthday post after I kick ass, I am not a loser, I am a runner, going faster, have to go around the block again, not done yet, OK here we are, back home. 

At least I accomplished something today.

I Am Still Running

In case you were wondering, since I haven't posted about it in awhile, I have not given up!  Except for the week off due to the Bermuda trip, I have been running according to the Beginner Runner's Plan.  At 10 weeks in, I am up to 4 iterations of 8 minutes of running and 1 minute of walking.  My cool Nike iPod told me that I did 4 miles today and that I have completed a total of over 100 miles cumulative so far.  I even did a faster than 10 minute mile today (that includes the walking portion).

I know I am stronger.  In the last 10 weeks I've gone from not running at all to running 4 miles.  That's 32 minutes of running!  I can tell that my muscles are more defined and that I've probably lost a few pounds.  I like that the aerobic portion of my workout videos is much easier.  I used to dread the jumping and stepping, but now consider it a piece of cake.

It is less than two weeks until the big 5K race, on my 39th birthday.  I think I will be ready.  I am nervous about running in a race.  I don't like participating in athletic competition, especially with an audience.  I have never done anything like a race.  What if I am the very last person?  Or I look stupid?  What if I am a big dork and cry at the end, like it's a marathon or something, instead of a rinky-dink 5K?  What if my outfit looks too new, like it's the first day of school?  What if I trip?

I'm sure I'll see some people I know there that are seasoned racers.  I will feel stupid saying, "Yeah, I know. I'm not a runner, but I did this class..."  And they'll say something completely annoying and condescending like, "Well, good for you.  I'm sure you'll love running when you get the hang of it.  Gotta go, I need to warm up because I'm trying to break my PR this time.  Oh, I'm sorry, that means Personal Record in runner lingo."

I am trying not to think about those things and instead concentrate on what I have learned and accomplished so far.  There is much to say!   I'll start with the big stuff and then talk about the little things.

Running is a great metaphor for life.  To get out there and do it.  To persevere, reach a goal, move your body.  Two of my favorite lessons are opposing ideas.  First is that even when you feel bad, or hurt, sometimes you just have to keep going, press on through it.  Many times while running something has hurt like my ankles, shins or calves.  But as I continue on my run, the pain subsides.  This is not an idea I have really been familiar with in the past.  I am typically the person who says, um pain, OK, I'm done.  So it has been eye opening to realize that you can work through the agony and instead of it getting worse, it might actually go away.  The rush of knowing you can overcome is very inspiring.

The other idea is that when you really hurt or have overdone it, you need to take a break.  Before we left for Bermuda, I had been doing all the required runs and also continuing my strength workouts.  A few times I had even done two workouts in one day, trying to make up for a lost day due to bad weather or some other conflict.  I thought I could handle this and that the pain I experienced was probably normal.  I would hobble around thinking I was just a wimp.  But when I took the week off and really rested, I was able to resume running without any problems and little pain.  It turns out that what I really needed was to take it easy and let my body fully recover.  I have felt stronger and more comfortable ever since (and you know it wasn't because the trip itself was rejuvenating!).

A few other things I've discovered:

Because I am always aware of the little eyes who are watching my every move, I am proud of the example I am setting for the kids.  While it is nothing like an Ironman race, it is a big thing for me.  They see me sticking with it and following though.  I know that matters.

Now I know why people run in the street.  It isn't because they are idiots trying to get run over by cars, but because the asphalt road is more forgiving on the joints than the concrete sidewalk.  It really does make a difference.

I am so in love with my Nike iPod!  Talk about motivating, after every run I get to hook the thing up and see exactly what I did.  Not only that, but it keeps track of every run I've done.  The cool funky techno music helps me run faster and keep a clear head.  I am now used to the different beats and try to run faster when the pace picks up.  I thought I would listen to podcasts, but I like the freeing, non-thinking aspect of this music.  At least for now.  And, if I run a little farther or faster, famous people congratulate me.  "This is Lance Armstrong.  Congratulations, you just completed your longest run yet!"  Gee, thanks Lance, I didn't know you would notice.  This may the best Christmas present Matt ever bought me, thank you honey!

I like to run in the morning.  This is not surprising because I am a morning person.  But I've also noticed that when I have all day to stretch and remain moving, I don't get as cramped up.  I've also started stretching a little before I start running.  This has helped tremendously  with my calves which tend to tighten up as I run.  Plus, I am just more tired at the end of the day.

I need to eat a little before I run unless I am going first thing in the morning, then I only need my first cup of coffee.   This is another reason why running early helps.  The class is at 6:30 in the evening, too early to have dinner with the family before and too late to go without something.  I finally realized I needed a small snack before I left for the class so I wouldn't feel lightheaded.

It is great that the weather is so nice now.  When I would go out when it was cold I'd never dress right.  I was surprised at how hot I got.  Matt would just shake his head at me as I bundled up with layers.  Inevitably I'd be burning up well before I got home.

I am beginning to buy into the "Do it for yourself" idea that woman get told repeatedly.  Before this class I thought, um, what I want to do for myself is read a book or blog (perhaps get a massage), not go running.  What are they talking about?  Even though I don't think running (or blogging for that matter) have made me better tempered, I do now see what they mean.  I feel better about myself that I am achieving a goal and getting healthier.  Especially when it means I get to ditch Matt with the screaming sick 3 year old and her crabby, disrespectful brother.

My single biggest fear about running was that I would get winded and feel sick to my stomach.  I have a throw up phobia and can count on one hand the number of times I have thrown up including when I was a child, drunk or pregnant.  The good news is that I have never felt out of breath or sick during this training class.  Not once.  That's what has really converted me.

That and the sense of pride that I am one of them.  Not the walker that gets dusted, but an actual runner who can't stop to chat.  Someone who is getting stronger and faster, clocking more miles, trading stories and ideas for running routes.  Dare I say that I really am one of them?

The woman who runs the class sends out training tips and information via e-mail.  She always ends her messages with the positive, upbeat phrase:

Run On!

And I will.